Have done that, but we're not overlooked

My wife likes rats and would get very excited by one in the compost. Unlikely, though, with four cats patrolling the garden

Could have been a fess: I have a young groupie coming on my "European tour". Except I'm not a musician

It's rare, but this case made me smile:

"One of the most famous Canadian female bigamists was Irene Hornby...her last three husbands were all in the army at the time, and she was only caught because authorities discovered their military allowances going to the same addres"

The production on it is awful too.

Judging from the number of cranes and building sites, London is nowhere near finished

Correct!

Stop asking them to give you a rusty trombone

a boat is floating in a body of water with a blue sky in the background ALT: a boat is floating in a body of water with a blue sky in the background

What's the worst that could have happened?

Brothers In Arms is dullsville except for the title track, and there are sone absolute shockers on there, like "Why Worry" and "Walk of Life".

Weezer is the canonical example of this

Get a few people round and give them a round of applause and a "wa-hey!" when they finish. Have been on the receiving end of this and we were a lot quieter afterwards

Star Trek? Sure, I love Darth Vader and all that lightsaber stuff!

Not all heroes wear capes

Or he would have turned out ok, had the Establishment not blocked her because she once posed nude. You can see how that experience might have had effects.

All my bread is hand-kneaded on the flat stomachs of Cuban virgins

Just reminisce out loud, like Simon's dad ftom Inbetweeners

Etiquette on group night rides is to set them to steady for the benefit of other riders. They are headache-inducing if you're sat behind them for hours on end

Bread is weird. It sweats if put in an airtight tin, but dries out too much if not put in anything. A bread bin needs to only vaguely seal. Linen bags are another option but I find they dry the bread a little too much.

They're both too high for a competitive economy, because they have to be: the cost of living in the UK is too high. If houses and energy were more sensibly priced, people wouldn't need as much money and their jobs wouldn't get offshored or axed so much.

It's translucent at the bottom but transparent above chest height. It's a wet room built for the previous decrepit owner so presumably the carer needed to see she hadn't collapsed or drowned. No-one will use it except me.

The suspicious thing about doners is that they're supposedly made from lamb (often "100% best lamb"). Lamb is far more expensive than chicken, but chicken kebabs cost more than doners. So it's all eyelids and bumholes, or mostly rusk

I hate Old Duffer Hour in Sainsbury's. I think they're trying to work out what the price would have been in the old money

Rightwing Wanklord is a great name for a band

I read that as "fisting" which shows I've spent far too much time on the internet

You could possibly end up on a nonce wing if caught

We have a glass ensuite door (not our choice; it was there when we moved in). This is therefore an ever-present risk

A-ha