my uncle says this is fake

"Team members must watch hamburgers before returning to work"

if u see a dog drinkin tea u run

Two in the pink, one in the Wink Martindale

Fievel goes whatever fucking direction he wants

i would give anything in the world to fuck the Pringles man

matte black ass crack

this mf just discovered what art is

take a whiz, howboutithuh???

time chairs

changing my name to Nut Northcandle

the suspect has been apprehended and is in police custardy

brag: i just yanked a clump like you would not believe

go prink yourself

can a sock ever be truly destroyed?

fantasizing about being best friends with a skeleton that wears a durag cape who sucks at magic tricks but keeps trying them anyway

dentists really see shit like this and wanna fuck around with it

ass action lawsuit

fuck party of the planet of the apes

my wife has this same bop command mechanic built in 🥴

take 200 of these and call me in the morning

broached onion

the meek shall inherit the girth

murphy femur femur murphy

adult link gave me my first cigarette 🥺

I've said it before and I'll say it again: fignuts

screaming "forgive me father, for i have sinned" between shit blasts in the walmart bathroom

got onto the same shit schedule as this dude at work and at first it was uncomfortable but now I can't shit without him 😕

quitting my job tomorrow because I am now 100% sure I can make a living by shouting onomatopoeias

just signed up for Dark Archery lessons