AND NOW A STORY!

IN TWO CHAPTERS!!

OH! I KNOW THE ANSWER!!

DAN SULLIVAN HAS A PLANE AND A PRIVATE ISLAND!

I REALLY HOPE ALL OF CHARLIE KIRK’S FOLLOWERS, AND ALL OF NICK FUENTES’S FOLLOWERS DON’T START KILLING EACH OTHER IN A LAST MAN STANDING BATTLE.

MAYBE AT THE UTAH STATE FAIRGROUNDS. NEXT WEEKEND. AT 3 PM.

OKAY. FINE. THIS LAST SHOOTER WAS A WHITE MALE REPUBLICAN. AGAIN. 😔

BUT THERE WILL BE A JEWISH TRANSGENDER BLACK MEXICAN WHO SHOOTS SOMEBODY SOMEDAY EVENTUALLY, AND WE HAVE TO JAIL ALL FOUR GROUPS JUST TO BE SAFE.

TODAY, I WATCHED RFK’S PRESS CONFERENCE IN ANCHORAGE SO YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO

GREAT NEWS EVERYONE!

PRESIDENT TRUMP IS GOING TO MAKE SURE OUR NATION’S SCHOOL CHILDREN STAY FIT AND NUBILE!

NO FATTIES ALLOWED IN TRUMP’S BALLROOM!

HULK HOGAN DIED JUST LIKE OZZY DID

SURROUNDED BY ALL THE FRIENDS AND FAMILY THAT LOVED HIM

PROOF WE ARE IN THE GOOD TIMELINE

TO BE FAIR TO THE PRESIDENT, A LOT OF THOSE CHILDREN TURNED EIGHTEEN EVENTUALLY

YOU SAY THAT LIKE TRAFFICKING CHILDREN TO AN OVERSEAS SEX PRISON IS A BAD THING

PEOPLE. RELAX.

OF COURSE TRUMP IS GOING TO RELEASE EPSTEIN’S PHILES.

IT’S NATIONAL HOT DOG DAY!

AS THE FOREVER LEADER OF AMERICA, DONALD TRUMP HAS CERTAIN INALIENABLE RIGHTS. SUCH AS PROTECTION FROM CRIMINAL TRAILS. AND THE RIGHT OF PRIMA NOCTA. ALSO, THE RIGHT OF PRETEEN NOCTA.

I HEARBY NOMINATE DONALD TRUMP FOR A NOBEL PEACE PRIZE FOR TAKING CARE OF THE JEFFERY EPSTEIN PROBLEM

PEOPLE. YOU ALL REALLY NEED TO STOP TALKING ENDLESSLY ABOUT HOW MANY TEENAGERS TRUMP RAPED ON EPSTEIN’S ISLAND.

IT WAS A LOT, OKAY?

ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?

WE NEED TO STOP BLAMING TRUMP FOR ALL THE FLOODING DEATHS IN TEXAS!

EVERYONE KNOWS GOD KILLED THOSE KIDS 🙏

THOSE CHILDREN WOULD HAVE NEVER DROWNED IF IT WASN’T FOR DEMOCRATS MANIPULATING THE WEATHER WITH THEIR JEWISH SPACE LASERS

IS OUR FOX NEWS TALKING POINT FOR THE WEEK

HAPPY CODEPENDENCE DAY AMERICA!

I CAN’T WAIT FOR THESE TAX PAYING FREELOADERS TO START PAYING ELON’S FAIR SHARE!

PEOPLE NEED TO STOP SHITTING ON ALIGATOR ALCATRAZ

IT’S GOING TO MAKE A REALLY EDUCATIONAL UNESCO SITE SOMEDAY

ESPECIALLY AFTER WE BUILD THE GLASS CASES FOR ALL THE SHOES

I’M EXCITED THAT THE FINAL VERSION OF THE BIG BEAUTIFUL BILL INCLUDES $275 MILLION TO ESTABLISH A DEPARTMENT OF TRUTH, TO PROSECUTE COMMIES FOR THEIR TERRIBLE THOUGHT CRIMES!

I’M ALSO EXCITED THAT YOU AREN’T IMMEDIATELY SURE IF THIS POST IS TRUE OR NOT!

DO THEY USE GONNA AS A CONTRACTION IN EUROPE?