That's because George Lucas actually gave a sh*t abut the story he was telling.

J.J. Abrams does not.

Amen.

I believe that's referred to as fraud, my good man.

Don't make the obvious joke, don't make the obvious joke, don't make the obvious joke...

Each pair just as amazing and hilarious as the next.

(Not gonna lie, I was hoping for some dunking on the anti-Lucas talking point that “Yoda couldn’t possibly have known about the Rule of Two!” But I get it; it’s not worth the time or effort to even acknowledge that idiocy)

It’s like Half-Life 3. It’s happening… eventually…

What else do you think the Islamic Republi should be referred to as?

Hey!

Ermit the Hermit's rants about clouds are far more coherent than anything Trump has to say.

I find it hilarious that this post says Cleopatra owned “a“ dildo, as if she didn’t have a whole collection of the damn things.

I definitely wish that.

And I had the poor luck of being born just one day afterwards.

You know how Klemens von Metternich called Aleksandr I of Russia the “biggest baby on Earth?”

I think Trump has taken that title for himself.

What even is that again?

Or even The Clone Wars.

If it was completely useless, they wouldn’t have formed the German Confederation after it got abolished.

Both look very nice, but personally I like the lady with the ear hoops and sidecut to be the most attractive.

Ironically enough, the one President who got reelected on a successful Middle Eastern policy was Dwight D. Eisenhower, which he did specifically by refusing to support this kind of thing.

If Spielberg was involved in the decision to fire Megan Fox at all, it was probably just him rubber-stamping a decision he wasn't even that invested in (just like every other decision made in these movies that he rubber-stamped).

Ful agreement with all of this. I still maintain that the Bayformers would be far superior films narratively speaking if Mikaela was the protagonist from the start instead of Sam (though I do think Shia LeBeouf nailed his part).

It definitely sounds plausible but considering just how little involvement Spielberg actually had with these movies to start (he specifically hired Bay so somebody else could do all the actual work of making these movies), I have my doubts that he would actually give a crap about this kind of drama.

Considering the 132 BCE is when the very first recorded political assassination in Rome occurred... I'd say not very likely.

Dude could've gotten stabbed in battle with some barbarians, though. So that's something.

(Personally, I'm still of the opinion that Bay was just trying to cover his own ass by passing the buck to Spielberg)

It’s even weirder when you remember that they specifically have a tradition of electing teena girls as their monarchs for no longer than four years at a time. So for the most part, these people aren’t even running the show.

(Why they thought this was a better idea than just abolishing the monarchy, I couldn’t say)

For Naboo’s case, I think the lore was that there was a succession crisis when the royal family died out hundreds of years ago, so they decided to throw out the idea of a permanent royal family altogether and elect their monarchs instead.

And this dude somehow outlived the Empire.

A real cockroach, that one.

It’s not that weird. There are electoral monarchies on Earth (though that’s because of some rather strange circumstances).

Correction: you realize he’s a genius on a level you can barely even comprehend.

That is absolutely hilarious.