When everything’s made to be broken, I just want you to know I’m a yam.

Same guy who discovered milk.

I am “lemon lime and orange are the only two flavors of Gatorade” years old.

They’re my carbs and I’ll make a mashed potato sandwich if I want to.

The way I stopped drinking is that wine isn’t drinking.

it's the Arthur clenched fist meme but the fist has been photoshopped to be comically smaller

when you have to block the strait of hormuz because they blocked the strait of hormuz

Morgan Freeman voice: And now Lettuce begin.

I met a woman today who named her child Lettuce. So that person exists

I did not know that you drum. I also do this thing. yay!

Recording the only piece of music I’m still proud of

A lifetime ago (13 years)

Gravy a song:

🎶 in your head, in your head
Gra-vy, gra-vy, gra-vy 🎶

Gravy'ing Down the House. My House.

Yes, lets please bring him into every conversation so that we can ruin every fun or interesting thing.

Still a mustache guy. Its going well.

I dropped out of college because I didn't want to take programming classes in dead languages or drink any more keystone light.

Dude seems completely smitten with sitting in the facefart chair.

I don’t mean to alarm anyone but there is a girl diddy.

You have reached the time lords. Please leave a message after the beep.

i messaged you on AIM please respond

Just another manic ..Wednesday

It’s called “next administration day” and it’s going to be …very mediocre if history is any form of relevant indicator.

birdsrightsactivist has painted human babies and hidden them in the shrubbery.

Week 1: We can both work from home now honey bunny!

Week 3: Interesting how the faucet is louder when you use it

Jeez street is a lesson too because you, you can’t let the jeez beat you.

Imagine being able to teleport and choosing to go to a Waffle House.

“And unto my devoted followers, I demand only that you dye eggs in bright colors and pretend that a rabbit did it. Then you must hide these eggs from your children and implore them to locate the eggs. The eggs shall be filled with chocolate. Then, you will eat ham, even though I am a Jew.” - Jesus

Ok but what if I told you that putting a nicotine pouch in and then drinking white wine is called a zynzin.