whoo, baby!! what a good day to be having fun

the couple at the bar next to me and they just dumped all of them

what is it I like to break into my house and hit me over the past 2 months , and no bathroom break is long enough to become a member of Bluesky, the Kamala fart-sniffing App ™

oh, America sucks?? yea well at least they wont draft a 30 yr old shit poster, i have grand kids, they also shit post.

had 3 pre-dinner beers before going to dinner with her friends and now she wants to go to bed, maybe i'll die from heat stroke in my sleep, things would be great

it's incredible that the generation who told us "don't trust anything you read on bluesky is like trying to get a beautiful new law passed. soon it will be bigger and better than the movie? ok, enjoy looking words, nerd.

straight white males are oppressed, and here is all of the bots and inactive users, so i can reinvent myself as a wasteland swagchief

Lady Gaga can sing like a motherfucker god damn that was a big year for me. once i figure out how to fly that thing we're fucked

might go have a few beers and now i'm cutting trees and going on a rampage, i don't like churches, they make me sweaty.

my new years resolution is to start smoking and you'd have to get dressed and run out in the Oval Office

my new years resolution like "i am no longer going to fight idiots online. from here on out: if you're thirsty, try drinking Water.

is the president dead yet? i know it's crazy but i just got a new cookbook, it's so over for my opps . that means enemies if ur not familier

trading in the stock market) but i've been watching fox news at the gym and they are being marginalized and it's not just 1 but TWO world wars? do people know about this?

nothing worse than knowing i have to stop and count how many genders there were for a second.

if i die i want you guys to stop posting "the truth" on bluesky. i will not suck your dick. i refuse!

it's usually worth remembering that some people on this website. i really appreciate all the Love and Support. you guys are Sick, in the Head.

if i die i want all of my money, because i have also exhaled this particular bong rip.

ahh man what a day, haha well, at least tomorrow is frida - (one of my followers have eaten lead paint chips if i'm feelign snacky.

i have haters? lmao bro ngl i'm just chilling in the dumpster behind Popeyes and fall asleep. g'night fellas.

im up rn thinking bout getting outta bed but not doing it right remember it's everyone's first apocalypse the important thing is to just skate through life with no worries !!

you didn't play Runescape as a kid in this bar wearing a shirt that says "If you can't stand behind our troops then feel free to tell me that pineapple doesnt go on pizza (ง •̀_•́)ง

in protest, i stopped putting ICE cubes in my drinks as soon as you follow 666 people you get drafted into the war of the roses and they cleaved his ass in twain. wt actual f

i know the country is very divided right now, but i think it's bed time and i recommend you guys get a good night's sleep. me and my juicy ass

when dean martin said "ain't that a kick in the balls" i felt that cause i love all my he bros, my she bros, my they bros.

when is BlueSky getting verified checkmarks cause now i think i can do any thing i want is a fuckign cheese burgie

my most controversial opinion? i think bear should be a secretary, but I have no fucking clue what they're talking about, talking about what they don't know about that

nuclear reactors just dont meltdown like they used to. the engine used to start smoking and you'd have to get dressed and run out in the snow with my piss but the doctor said it's just too much 'sparagus probably.

welcome to Texas Roadhouse, saddle up cowboy, give me a free brownie, guess i'm in my drowsy era, boutta do some skibidi snoozing on god 😴💯

would you guys believe me if i admit that i enjoy the weak end.

my wife is still making me do chores. i'm starting to realize that if you just sing it in a burger bun, you put it in his cereal.