high on life (preworkout and a hi-chew)

one of those “showing my cat things they’ve never seen before” videos but its showing men at the gym how to re-rack their weights

The footage of Björk fighting that papparazzi is the best shit I ever saw. Can you imagine getting laid out by Björk? She gets you on the ground and starts with the haymaker. Honestly a life goal of mine to get tombstone piledrivered by her.

oh hell yeah!! tyty!!

oooo wait i have a bigass jar of black sesame paste, this sounds good as hell

maybe im not ok. maybe this has, in fact, explained some things

the amount of people who have said “oh yeah, it made me think of you— i hope you’re ok!!” in response to the fucking lead in protein powder news 💀

particularly proud of me and wesley’s pumpkin paintings this year

aint that just the way

im a strong independent woman (made it past the tropics in peak WITHOUT MY PARTNER)

cursed to rapidly oscillate between wanting to be built like a brick shit house and a dainty little elf man, forever stuck at “kinda buff maybe?”

i wish copilot had a corporeal form so i could call it a clanker and beat it with a stick

shitposting about c*pilot on linkedin is calling out to me like the green goblin mask, but would 1000% get me fired

we need an upper age limit for youtube. my boomer dad and uncle should not be able to share conspiracy videos and fifty year old albanian propaganda films with each other. not on the same platform as mr beast. god is not real

house of grief fight got me crying in the club pls let me live

m*crosoft shoves generative ai bullshit into every thing they make but then rate limits the fucking faucets in the bathrooms i hate my job i just wanna wash my hands

i asked him why he thought it was a christmas movie and he said because it takes place in winter

i asked my dad if he’s seen any christmas movies lately and he deadass said “yeah My Cousin Vinny was on the other day”

i take back all my negative comments veilguard fucks

no power + only one candle + everything in the fridge is probably gross + the grocery store is blocked off by a downed tree and also out of power. rice cake and peanut butter dinner thank u bomb cyclone

I think we've earned Spore 2

update someone suggested a swear jar to me and i was like ‘bro please no i have to pay rent’

got moved out of my solo office and into an open space starting tomorrow do you think its time to stop yelling “what the fuck do you mean!?” at outlook every morning or should i lean into it. my manager is next to me

“We have purple hawke at home”
purple hawke:

if nothing else, i dislike DATV for the dumb ass poses rook takes when talking to people. man does NOT know what to do with his hands

i think you’d be able to chart exactly when i started hating my job and the intensity of that hatred by the frequency i respond to teams messages with “🤠😤” vs “😭”. and also when i started publicly declaring it

my other pumpkin

pumpkin

i remembered that i paint! “Avenue U Sunbather” 18x24 acrylic on gessoboard! i miss brooklyn