Hera, after getting a dick pic: The Sword of Dayum-ocles.

If it wasn't for disassociation, I wouldn't have any associations.

If someone asks you to do something that you don't want to do or are not comfortable with, remember that, "yikes," is a full sentence.

Thank you!

NO TIME!

It's for the cover letter and I don't want to sound repetitive.

If I had that kind of money, I'd def do it.

Thank you!

What's a funnier word; nuts or balls?
Serious answers only. This is for my resume.

A medieval themed cafe called The Sword and the Scone.

Use coffee to steep your tea in the morning for that fresh heart attack feeling to get you through your day.

While Bluesky has been spotty, I went outside and saw that the sky IS blue! Do you think that's how it got its name!?

a screenshot from the video game Mewgenics with a group of black and white faces and a text bubble that reads 'now imagine if your name was david!"

OK your life is pretty good but it could be better...

Much like David Bowie, I am afraid of Americans. Unlike David Bowie, I go by Dave.

This whole time I thought Beanie Babies were Mr. Bean's kids.

German game where you can travel a blocky world but you cannot build anything: Neincraft

Honest Abe's hips never told a lie.

Scowl is short for Simon Cowl.

They say the best gifts come from the heart, so I have a baggie of oxygenated blood to give my wife later.

All Republican Catholics should be excommunicated. I'm not being funny or madcap.

This time with no typo!

Little Caesars board meetings: Let's talk pizza.
Movie trope marketing director: Say that last word again.

Checkers against a dead horse is PEAK

What nobody tells you about beating a dead horse is how fun it is.

The real reason you should wait until you're older to have children is so that you have the maturity to not name your son "Fartholomew."

Ducks are fowl as fuck

Save 100% on Graveyard Keeper on Steam Build and manage a medieval graveyard while facing ethical dilemmas and making questionable decisions. Welcome to Graveyard Keeper, the most inaccurate medieval cemetery sim of the year.

I don't usually post links to things, but I, a real face of a real Dave, attest that this is a real Steam Link for Graveyard Keeper.

store.steampowered.com/app/599140/G...

Xenophobia is fucking stupid. Let everyone fuck or marry everyone.

TBH I quit RE after Nemesis because I hate timed games haha

Over the shoulder shooters make me so mad when you can't aim and run.