spider in my bedroom: ...ok so are you going to kill me or what
me: jesus christ man give me one minute PLEASE [goes back to my hyperrealistic oil painting of the spider as a half naked anime lady]
Me: Ahh, what a crisp and refreshing morning! Love to sip on my coffee and enjoy the fresh air.
The wizard I have trapped in my basement: Ten thousaand curses on your bloodline for this!!!
me: no. shut the fuck up. if you ever say anything bad about eggs (the food) ever again I will destroy you
my boss: uh
anyone else notice that it cold out there??????? world ending FOR SURE this time
Some day the fucker who keeps leaving wet leaves on my car when I park it under their favorite tree or whatever is going to be SORRY.
if I was dead I wouldge be sad
I love emotional manipulation #emotionalmanipulation
Do you guys think deers are really real
Every day is "girl" "summer" when your this swag
Me: Uhmmm actually all food is morally neutral, you've just been brainwashed by purity culture 🥰🥰🥰
Guy watching me eat soap in a Denny's: 😬
No idea what fandom this is but kidkiller is simply the funniest ship name in the entire world
Red string of fate? More like black string of hate. Starbucks guy screwed up my order again 🙄
🐝🐛🐜Every bug is my personal friend🐜🐛🐝
🐝🐛🐜Every bug is my personal friend🐜🐛🐝
🐝🐛🐜Every bug is my personal friend🐜🐛🐝
🐝🐛🐜Every bug is my personal friend🐜🐛🐝
🐝🐛🐜Every bug is my personal friend🐜🐛🐝
🐝🐛🐜Every bug is my personal friend🐜🐛🐝
🐝🐛🐜Every bug is my personal friend🐜🐛🐝
they shoudl invent a version of ponds with ducks that doesnt get you sososo sopping wet with mud when you try to go and pet them
I do honestly think every one of my problems could be solved by a sufficiently large trauma to the head
But doctor. The patient needs girlkisses to live! 🥺
this milk tastes like shit
Reallll we should all go attack the sun
Omg has anyone ever told you your eyes are soooo beautiful haha. Ok now follow me into this abandoned cistern 🥰
Ough just like that 😫 Yesss right there 😋🔥💯💯💯
[Camera zooms revealing a mouse stacking grains in a little pile 50 meters away from me]
any girls in my area? I need someone to help move a vast quantity of dirt
Daily reminder to drink some water!!! 💦 💦 💦 Or the ghouls will get you 👻
Everyone's all "unhinged VTuber" this, "wild VTuber moments" that. I'm SICK of it! 😡
That's right. I'm in my hinged era. Going to be filing my taxes on stream 📝👍
Whenever I walk by someone's garden that's unattended it's just like hell yes. Yummy treat for me. Four (4) raspberries 🍓
I love to ripping and tearing a full head of lettuce with my hands and teeth 🥰🥰🥰🥰
‼️‼️HATERS DO NOT INTERACT‼️‼️‼️
Had a dream where I was some kind of two metre tall ancestral sword-saint who protected generations upon generations of a noble family's scions with my scythelike blades. This probably means nothing soooo like it's whatever hahaha. Girls
I'm trying to commune psychically with this scorpion, can anyone tell me what it meams when it waves its little claws at me? Thanks 👍
I don't need to do drugs to get high. I simply go outside and an angel descends from the heavens, taps me on the forehead with a single finger, and then I can see shrimp colors.
Life is beautiful 💞💞💞
Hate it when I open a pack of Oreos intending to just eat one or two and then five hours later I wake up in the woods of Estonia being hunted by the Watcher