@hearsethief.bsky.social cleaner than this one

i'm goated

i'm very happy about everything good happening to u, it's genuinely all i've been looking forward to u having, and i'm so so fucking proud of where u are, but i'm so fucking far and so alone in that. let me be sad that those things that u have that ur happy about haven't graced me the same way

i feel like i'm not allowed to be sad about things just because you might be happy about them

i'm actually the most punished dog in the world u don't even get it #gaspack

this is what i do it for

i feel like someone came to me and bashed my head with one of those paper towel things they have at diners. i have such awful headache. :(

it's so hard to not say it out loud, to not present how i feel

showing pride. expressing those feelings in ways that are visible to others. etc

people tell me they're proud to love me not infrequently. but that's about as far as i feel like it ever goes

being around people i love and still always feeling lonely

this is not sustainable

i hope i did a good job holding it together tonight. i tried hard

!!!!!!!!!!!!

huiiiiii

shut uo

i'mdrunk. thinking about marryijg. that would go so hRd. we shld do it plsssssssssss!!!!.

i actually don't know the last time i've jerked off and cried at the same time does this mean i'm detransitioning now

stop in the middle of jerking off, send her cow gif, immediately break down crying

thinking about a gun the same way a cartoon character sees a pie on the window that he knows he can't take

i'm so tired

i want to be better at dealing with my own shit and not putting it on the people i love. how do i do this

im sorry i'm not strong. im sorry my weakness is visible. im sorry that seeing it hurts u.

i promise i won't do it, i know i can't do that to anybody, but that doesn't change how good it sounds sometimes

my head hurts. i am bad. that's it

EVERYTHING I SAY MAKES THINGS WORSE I SAY SOMETHING AND IT ONLY ADDS TO ANXIETY EVEN AND ESPECIALLY WHEN I AM JUST TRYING TO HELP

just spent 3 days in someplace that i felt more community in than i've ever felt in my life. going back home now. kinda fucking me up ngl lmao

i feel very inadequate. i feel like any consequence i have in others lives is very centered in now, in what i am to them currently, but i feel very temporary in every sense of the word. there are few people i feel even a sense of permanence with, and even then it is shrouded with my own uncertainty

working on getting better at expressing how good some ppl are to me. much to consider.

sending the first 2 messages and then regretting it already but being too far in to go back