Calvin, this looks dope.

Also, we have this thing called a Primary. We should have one of those and let that tell us who the candidate is.

Been trying to crack this myself for a system that uses a jenga tower like Dread, but instead of PCs dying when the tower falls that’s when the loop resets

What's the most fantasy novel noun for a mundane object? I'll go first: Windbreaker

I’m whatever age it is where it hurts to eat and drink anything no matter how often you go to the dentist

It’s a good knife out

Getting to the point where just need to turn the whole internet off.

One piece of business advice I give to everyone is to always keep a bag of marshmallows by your front door so you can just pop one or two of them bad boys into your mouth whenever you’re coming in or going out.

No beats get dropped because the song selection sub committee doesn’t have a quorum.

Great news for famed Portland business, Mr. Plywood.

Crackle crackle

Why haven’t you fixed all this, Louis?

Fuck off. You’re so good.

Hamburger Helper implies the existence of Hamburger Hinder

By the time I’m done with all my physical therapy exercises, it’s time to go to bed.

My inner child wishes I could be sad about Hulk Hogan dying.

1. First #TTRPG you ever played - D&D 2e
2. First you ever ran - D&D 3e
3. Played the most - D&D 5e
4. Run the most - D&D 5e
5. Favorite - Blades in the Dark.
6. Most recently played - Vaesen
7. Most recently run - Daggerheart

I keep calling him cheeto but he keeps being president wtf I thought this would work

Cool they can make bad people unpopular. But can they do the harder job of making themselves popular?

Great topic for one of these videos

Parenting a toddler is one thing. But parenting toddler when you wear glasses is like parenting your middle school bully—stop taking my glasses my mom says they’re are expensive.

Look y’all. I’m 40. The Cheetos need to either be flamin’ or hot but not both.

Best Star Trek crew, wrong answers only.

Can’t believe I lost out on being the Grand Marshal of the Grand Floral parade to a fucking baby elephant.

I’m convinced that Joe Biden shouldn’t run for president in 2028

Maybe it’s like a Zeus with a headache situation except instead of an Athena it’s Cool being birthed.

Just chiming in to say I don’t like how things are going.

Boo you dummies

Backseat writing.

Keep chewing. One day death will release you from this charge.