I Was Stoked To Collaborate With Dan McQuade A couple days ago, I heard the terrible news that the writer Dan McQuade passed away. I’ve read some great tributes to him from people…

In memory of the great writer Dan McQuade, I wrote about how we spent about fifteen years sending each other really stupid press release quotes. I'll miss him.

Sign reading EXECUTE DONALD TRUMP HIS ENTITE ADMHISTRATION AND ALL THOSE COMPLICIT HANG THEM ALL

the mood is not subtle

They finally caught the sick son of a bitch who’s been leaving chewing gum in urinals all across the country. I hope they give him the death penalty.

If there is an afterlife, I bet it has some bullshit downside they don’t tell you about, like there are lots of mosquitos or the birds are too loud.

the most tragic part of being an immortal vampire is helplessly watching as all the hit ragtime ditties you wrote slowly enter the public domain

Any news on a possible revival of the Hoobastank "Hooburito" at Dennys?

I still hold out hope that the surviving California Raisins will put aside their differences and reunite before time runs out.

If I ever run into that Frankenstein’s Monster bozo, I’d say, “Fire bad? For who? Fire keep wolf at bay. Fire warm bones at night.” It’s amateur hour with this guy.

I am not a Gardetto's denier. Rye chips can live peacefully amongst pretzels.

The way I see it is simple. If you're in the presence of pretzels, you should be eating pretzels.

Congratulations to my dog Luna — a close personal friend of mine — for celebrating seven great years of eating yard waste and all manner of detritus.

It’s time we reform our draconian Found Property Laws. I’m an honest, pleasant man making a respectable income finding satchels and old coffee cans full of money that were lost in the woods, and I am drowning in bureaucratic red tape. Finders deserve to be keepers.

Thinking about getting into model trains and building a beautiful habitat for my dear sweet choo-choo babies.

Instead of wasting my time thinking about dumb, implausible scenarios like everyone else, I spend my time thinking about waking up tomorrow and becoming very rich because I found a huge bag of money in the woods

I for one am still holding out hope that the legitimate front for an insider trading racket is going to swoop in and save us

I have thought about this and I'm afraid I have to correct you. The best song of the 1980s remains "Adventure" by Rupert Holmes.

If I could give that Wolfman jerk my two cents, I’d say, “Friend, that kind of howling isn’t appropriate after 9pm when folks are trying to sleep.”

In my opinion, every single food item should have a little pocket of custard inside. For the sake of fairness, if you’re having custard by itself, there should probably be something inside it, too. Maybe a meat nugget? I’ll leave that part up to the experts.

A classic lava world. Nothing to write home about.

@tom.games needs to quit programming or whatever he's wasting his time on and spend more time drawing.

I stand in solidarity with all others who have recently finished their treat and thus have no more treat left to enjoy.

I am sorry for the pain I caused you by taking a photo of you in a new shirt in 2006. I hope in time you will forgive me.

It could be called Josh Care if you cared enough about Josh (me).

Rude of you not to invite me over.

I knew lowtax. I worked with lowtax. And you sir are definitely lowtax

Every dem senator or rep's website should look like the geocities page of a lunatic talking in all caps scrolling, flashing text about Elon. There should be a skull smoking weed GIF and dancing bart. They should be proposing arming up gangs of new york style to stop DOGE from entering offices.

They learned from watching you. Every time I watched you sit down at work I wanted to throw up.

as someone who spends 60 hours a week in the forest, working hard to earn a living, this is simply nonsense and you should offer a sincere retraction immediately. About 50% of the forest will give you diarrhea, among other things.

I think all games should be required to have a nude mode and also a partially nude mode for those of us who do not want to be exposed to such graphic content.

If I could give that Count Dracula guy a piece of my mind, I’d say to him, “Sir, everything you did was illegal and indecent.” He needs to hear it.