just heard someone refer to a regular bicycle as an “acoustic bike”

hieroglyphs code #coding #software #programmerhumour #tech #programming

> "Trust me bro, this new tech startup isn't a pyramid scheme"
> Looks at codebase:

memento mori... remember... that you are mori...

caffeine is perfect when you're having trouble concentrating and would rather be having trouble concentrating while vibrating

heartwarming video of astronaut Christina Koch greeting her dog for the first time after returning from space. the pup can be seen snarling, back arched, before scampering to its word buttons and pressing "IMPOSTOR" repeatedly, then "FALSE. SKIN. FALSE. SKIN." several times

The only reason they said yes to making a Bloodborne movie is because movies also don't exceed 24 fps

there is no folly of the beasts of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men

The Calvin's dad explaining records meme. He is explaining that the two kinds of meme are Calvin's dad and Loss. Despite being a meme about Calvin's dad, this one is Loss.

https://www.tumblr.com/definitelynotdakota/813597613020643328?source=share

a little wizard with his pointy blue / yellow starred hat, drooping over his face, holding a wand with his feet, white beard. to his left is an orange/red flower with an eye in the middle. prompt option button: begone

adobe photoshop 4.0, prompt, macintosh (1997) archive.org/details/MacA...

Mister Cheeks

please…Caked Up Shawty was my father. call me:

Greatest. Correction. Ever.

Thinking about that time 70 years ago a (then) world superpower ended up in an awkward geopolitical situation involving a middle eastern waterway and their nominal allies not backing them up and it basically being the end of them being considered a major power, anyway, I'm sure everything's fine

a 3 star review of the first Illumination Super Mario Bros. movie that reads as follows: I dressed up as funky kong to see this with coworkers and my manager was like "who the fuck are you" because I looked like a 90s weed dealer so I told her to "just wait and see" and then he never showed up in the movie

tbh I still feel I get more enjoyment out of reading this short review of the first Mario movie than I do out of watching most full-length films

The old world is dying. The new world struggles to be born. Things are pretty busy at the world hospital

Feel like I can't beat this one:

sara mchenry @yellowcardigan My therapist: < laughs at a joke I said> Me (to myself): This is great. I'm going to get a good grade in therapy, something that is both normal to want and possible to achieve, 11:48 pm • Mar 06, 2019

"The KKK Memorial Park is staffed by slave labor" is the most Georgia headline of all time

Isaac Chotiner: You say the two cats who live in your house are "Jerks" and you don't care for them
Me: Absolutely. They are the burdens of my life
Chotiner: It seems you spent an hour searching for special food for them and paid more for it than you do even for your own food.
Me: That's--Hold on,

I’m fucking crying dude. Asking “pretty please do not introduce a security vulnerability”.

Are Pokémon used in warfare considered equipment or personnel from the perspective of the laws of armed conflict and Geneva convention? Can Pokémon commit or be victims of war crimes?

> house of leaves > go inside > cant leaves

any time anyone talks abt this book i just think abt this meme

tweet from @shen_the_bird: "boss: what is the problem coworker: [pointing to me] that guy stole my thesaurus me: he peddles falsehoods"

wow, looks like a rough patch for stocks AND bondis

As it was prophesied by dinosaur comics some 20 years ago, we have finally gone back to the moon, and we did not forget the chicks this time

A demonically possessed diamond encrusted platinum skull inside a painting, taunting a man in a dishevelled navy tuxedo inside the "isle of the dead" painting It's saying "I can see you, bitch"

me @ all my trans friends today

You ever just fall into a hole, get permanently confused and then get eaten by a Ummwahgahmmahmga

Cat lying inside a crumpled Taco Bell paper bag with caption above. Transcribed Text: “Gave my boy catnip for the first time last night. He ended up passed out in a Taco Bell bag. Couldn't be more proud.”

Thursday