It’s cool that china made a robot that runs exactly like I do

Happy birthday to Steph Curry! Loved you in Rocky Horror Horror Show

NEW: Growing fears of food shortages on the USS Tripoli & other US ships in the Middle East

Aw man, I wanted overtime

This “-maxxing” and “-mogging” stuff comes from an ugly place and has never been particularly funny. But what about if *I* adopt it, but ironically,

Mike Vrabel waiting by the door to give you a fist bump after the hookup

Lo and gaze upon His bounty!

Chipotle ranch available for 25¢ upcharge

Now that’s a lot of chickens

What a hilarious twist that American style fascism is so embarrassing that it essentially chases the European far right parties back into the basement, and western democracy survives

When you see those three dots and hear the clicking, that’s when you *KNOW* you’re getting chased around by the Predator

Go Rox 🗻

⭐️ ONE STAR! TOO EFFECTIVE!! DO NOT USE

Well fuck, I guess I need to do my work for my job

Screenshot from King of the Hill Season 5, Episode 8

Accidentally knocked down Bluesky with my new account, 12000 Owls Every Second

Seems silly they’re even playing Lendeborg

To be fair, you could pretty easily dazzle most cops by telling them that you’re friends with Trump

The certificates are literally 40 plain text words on a piece of paper saying “Yep! This business is real and pays its bills.” There’s not even a cool picture

Hyper intense ortho bro

Doing it from behind a gilded lectern really drives it home

Delaware is such a scam state. They charge you $265 to print and apostille a business certificate. Here in Colorado it costs $5

Strap the f in and prepare to experience work faster than ever

It’s nearing the point where I can live fully on income from $20 data breach class action settlement checks

Holy shit!

UConn just needs like 11 stops in a row and they can send those Boozer brothers and their privacy phones back to NC

Watching the commercials during March Madness.. is CBS only cop shows now?

I want one with crazy makeup. I’ll do sneezed too hard while taking cookies out of the oven and fell in

Loving the level of goofball brain that drives someone to register an account on a porn website. I bet they send you a weekly email when there’s new porn to watch

Checking out the news about long TSA lines on LinkedIn, where everyone is bragging about how they had fun in line