I need to get something off my chest. I think Mr. Miyagi was a total fraud.

Did you know you can just say stuff? It's easy. It's called lying.

Can't sext rn baby, I'm locked in a 3 way battle with the state of Illinois tollway and CarMax.

Doctor My Lies

My lies are wide open.

Anyone ever tell you you have beautiful lies?

You can tell a lot about a person from their lies.

You have to repost other people if you want to get reposted. Ask me how I know.

Just because I'm a little paranoid doesn't mean that fat robin on the patio isn't a fed.

Doctor My Eyes (Remastered) YouTube video by Jackson Browne - Topic

Time to make the donuts

🙁

Behind me? Oh haha that's just a wake of relational devastation.

My neighbor's mowing already. Way to set the pace, Rick. Fucken asshat.

Uh oh I think I got another one that has to ignore me so her online bf won't get mad.

Once Upon a Time in Booger Hole West Virginia

I was wrong earlier, boobs did help.

My truck is blue. We have so much in common.

She could make my whole day with a glance but I also kinda get off on the indifference.

Oh I see the misunderstanding now. I'm doing research today. These are research beers.

That weird tree is back.

I need an altitude adjustment.
*steps off ledge*

I'm in such a bad mood. I don't even think boobs would help.

Not everyone believes the world is dumb for the reasons you think it's dumb. There are other reasons.

Brown eyed girls, man.

Fake wounds require fake time to fake heal.

Bored. Might smelt some empty Busch Light cans and sand cast a money clip shaped like a Jeep Grand Cherokee logo.

We have to stop meeting like this (esoterically)

Our meet cute: You see me across a crowded bar and immediately start chucking heavy objects at my head.

Wildwood Weed YouTube video by Jim Stafford - Topic

My brother Jim

Snow?