I mean. They’d be innocent even if they WERE related, because that’s not how guilt works.

USERS: we love bluesky but it has problems
BLUESKY: great we'll fix them
USERS: do you want to know what they are
BLUESKY: absolutely not
USERS: you're alienating the people who actually use your product
BLUESKY: skeets are now florps
USERS: what
BLUESKY: pictures go sideways

Jon Bois @jon_bois the shift key is the most useless key on the keyboard. it doesn't do anything. don't 2 me 11:07 PM 3/19/22 Tweetbot for Mac 14K Retweets 699 Quote Tweets 204K Likes

It's time for overtime playoff hockey which calls for an iconic Jon Bois tweet

hated landlords until I became one - tenants are just ungrateful Rhiannon Picton-James

I hated serial killers until I got that first rush of my hands squeezing tighter and tighter around a helpless delicate neck

OH THANK FUCK THE OLD ONE WAS HORRENDOUS

Your team names are always the best!!

People with preexisting conditions also don’t deserve to die

What even is the point of attending???

It’s so, so hard. I hate being an inconvenience of any kind!

Anyone who shows up for this travesty is knowingly choosing to act as a prop for authoritarian kabuki because they’re too cowardly or amoral to pass up vapid schmoozing and free drinks. They deserve your contempt, and possibly a few pieces of rotting produce.

Sepp Blatter should wake up every day and say a thousand prayers to Infantino for making it so nobody will even remember what used to be considered one of the most corrupt eras in the history of any sports body because of what a shitshow this tenure has been

“Shohei Ohtani pitches 6 scoreless innings to lower his ERA to 0.38 as the Dodgers get shut out tonight” IS SUCH AN ANGELS ASS STATEMENT, MAN. WHAT IS THIS SHIT.

Also lmao I thought this was milk with ice cubes all over the floor 😆

Nonsense!!!

he can still win if mike pence has the courage to do what's right

This is Fitz and June. Fitz just got here and thinks this place is pretty great. June was here first and thinks it's time to return Fitz. 13/10 for both (TT: muester)

Average Mariners experience

OF COURSE this happened to the Mariners.

Burchett is right: the most DC thing ever *is* a member of Congress blaming the city for something he and his colleagues did themselves.

These people are so power hungry that they can’t see when it’s time for them to retire. Why would you even want a job when you’re 80???

Stop what you are doing and watch this slide

Alex Call and Teoscar Hernández collide. Photo by Ezra Shaw

how can you not be romantic about baseball

Lou Seal bullies Shohei Ohtani, who is forced to report the incident to Dave Roberts

The term "war crimes" seems woefully insufficient.

hello to everyone else included in the "anti-ai ai haters" blocklist the technical advisor of bluesky just followed 🫡 it's an honor just to be nominated

I encourage these guys to use the confusing medium of a press conference to discuss their lawsuits against entities with extremely good lawyers.

“Trump is dealing with his own fear about ordering troops into harm’s way where some will be injured and some not return home, similar to other presidents who have been at war, people familiar with the matter said.”

He actually does not give a fuck about anyone being in harm’s way.

“Aides kept the president out of the room as they got minute-by-minute updates because they believed his impatience wouldn’t be helpful, instead updating him at meaningful moments, a senior administration official said.”

This should be unacceptable. He’s getting filtered info???

This is so, so sad and I’m so angry that we are willingly inflicting this on anyone.

I just don’t understand how Paul Skenes struggling to open a jar is supposed to make me want to buy a video game