Post. Op. Almost a week. Still ow
Can't draw properly yet cause I can't position myself how I normally would

Next week there will be another existential boogeyman designed to discourage you from pursuing art. There will always be a mosquito in your ear trying to convince you your creativity has no value. Let this Sora situation be a lesson. Stop getting pushed around by scammers. Make art

Early 2023 shit. Only time I properly drew him

I'm a few days post op now and I feel amazing already. I feel so much lighter and happier. I honestly wasn't expecting to feel so free.
My surgeon really gave me my life back and I will forever be grateful. While my healing and physical journey's not over yet, this has been a huge positive step. ❤️

Just wanted to let you all know that surgery went very well and I'm feeling better now! Thank you for all the kind wishes and thank you to everyone who made this possible for me- The doc, my mom, the doc's surgery scheduler who fought insurance to get this done, and everyone else for moral support ❤️

Okay surgery ACTUALLY tomorrow (real)
For a long time I was anxious. Don't get me wrong, I still am. But. I remembered a younger boy. He often cried in pain, suffering alone, fighting his own body. He would dream of feeling better.
I was him. His dream is my dream. I will heal him just as he hoped.

Bro the surgery anxiety's getting crazy. I gotta come in tomorrow for my pre op appt and I'm like gonna start losing it.
In other news, I finally got to watch Iron Lung! I enjoyed it. It was a good experience and a very impressive film

That's where we intend to go once we work up the ADHD motivation

Wait what about ampersand though

They're gradually increasing in size lord save us (he turned out amazing!)

If you've comments about having BPD or C-PTSD+BPD feel free to chime in. I'd be interested in learning other perspectives and the differences between the two
*Prefer to hear dx'd and self aware povs for the sake of research/understanding. Nondx are valid but I'm sure you can understand me here tyy

about and several places where I'll do as I've done here, expanding my library of information. I'm still learning about myself and coming to understand myself better.
Even though it's distressing and hard to unpack, I'm glad (enough) to be in this new position, identity crisis aside. +

long as I go before getting a proper diagnosis.
But to think I wouldn't be here, at least so soon, if I didn't end up stopping to think "ok, but what made the psych think this? Let's have a conversation about it instead of fighting him on it."
There are still plenty of things for me to learn +

I feel I was reductive and immature. Even if it probably didn't harm anyone outright, it was wrong of me and I am grateful to have changed my views.
Ofc, in the end the diagnosis shouldn't matter so much as my behavior, traits, and self work but I will be obsessive over this entire thing for as +

for how I saw these people- people that could be me. Who I thought I didn't understand or relate to. While I never discriminated or demonized (a disorder doesn't make you a bad/abusive person), it was still potentially harmful to have these specific ideas in the first place when they can be wrong! +

I viewed BPD people separate from myself aka NOT me. And my bad experiences with others' BPD and abuse shaped my views on how it "should always" look. Even the company I took sometimes could give me false info and reinforce the views I had- I would parrot. Hence my extra strong denial.
I feel bad +

me an opportunity to broaden my previously closed views on BPD, all bc I decided to stop and as why he thought this.
Going in, my view of BPD was very strict- I thought a very certain set of criteria/traits HAD to be present for ex, but that was wrong. (I'd detail but this is long already) +

about whether this is BPD or just sm like CPTSD, because I obsess over knowing myself. I've learned SO much about BPD in these last several days that I probably wouldn't have if I hadn't started considering the idea. At first I was averse when the psych brought it up as possible, but learning gave +

thanks to my psychiatrist, who spoke with me and will be working with me on this. As of now I meet the diagnostic criteria but it could also be explained by other things, so it's currently an elimination game.
I like to research in my own time and try to figure out the puzzle for myself best I can +

Mental health stuff frustrates me sometimes because so many people are assumptive and generalizing. It makes finding accurate information difficult! And I have to admit, even I have fallen under those mindsets and it's probably done me more harm than good.
Recently I learned I might have BPD +

INSURANCE HAS APPROVED AND I AM GETTING SURGERY NEXT WEEK FINALLYYY

Don't worry about what other people think and COOK my guy

I have an interest in Sonic but there's SO many different entries and media that it's like.. Where do I start and am I even actually a fan if I barely touched them?
(For reference I've played some Sonic Mania, watched 1993 Adventures + the movies, and seen some misc clips but I like the characters)

AS YOU SHOULD QUEEN
AS YOU SHOULD

Had to draw him at least once ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Three cats sitting in round beds, looking toward the camera

Two black-and-white cats cuddling together in a wooden bowl

A black cat and a white cat lying close together on a blanket

A black cat sitting beside a tabby-and-white cat, both looking forward

Happy Cat Day in Japan!
May all cats be safe, loved, and happy

They scream “only two genders exist!!”
But every soul shines in its own irreplaceable color 🌈✨
No matter how loud the hate gets, Chiitan will keep waving this flag until everyone can sparkle as themselves🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈

eats all 10 billion brownies you left on the kitchen counter
going stir crazy without outside activity... but school is in a few days so I will be back to normal soon

The Amazing Digital Circus cast in a doodle/silly style :3

Those freaking bastards we all love
#tadc

UGHHH I miss DD bro. I followed it since the beginning and I ended up playing it for a bit- but got stuck in an endless glitchy loop in the sewer level. I've been waiting for ch5 FOREVER omg rip