bsky finally let me see them. THEY'RE VERY CUTE... what a well fed and shaped shellfish

coming to terms with my szpd was rough i'll say that. because i didn't know how to handle the fictional worlds and need for isolation in certain situations with a lack of "standard empathy"
and to have that stuff taken and weaponized. man. i was only 15~16 at the time as well.

i think the bit that's getting me out of all this is said stalker (adult btw full 6+ years older than me) screenshotted private vents and sent them to all my (at the time) adult friends. ruining my friendships. my priv vents weren't even "bad" they were just me coming to terms with my szpd

and that's not to say i'm an angel either, i've made mistakes and that's very natural to do during your teen years. it's the fact that most of my responses were honestly more of a "lash out" because no one was respecting me, which on god i could say a Lot to the people of my past

i never want someone under the age of 18 online to feel unsafe or be in the position i was in where no one asked how you were or checked on you. same for a few young adults as well. the overall treatment towards me from 12-22 has frankly been Disgusting.

a lot of adults were incredibly rude to me, a minor who was obviously very mentally unstable at the time, and instead of asking me if i needed to talk to someone/if i had talk to someone they just harassed me. admittedly, it's why ive become "overprotective" of certain people in post of those events

to minorly "trauma dump"
throwback to when an adult stalked me, when i was a MINOR. under 15. and blamed me on someone "leaving the internet". also the fact adults made nsfw jokes around me when i was 14, and thought it was funny that i didn't understand them.

whilst transferring art files etc to storage i'm going thru some of the tf2 era stuff and uh. man. i still love the artwork i got back then, don't get me wrong, but geez... some of the people from this era...

:( IM SORRY!!
you were taking such good care of them tho.
so regardless i'm pretty sure that little fella felt like royalty for the existence they had.

rubbing my hands all greedy because this is very relaxing finally organizing things

finally got extra storage for my files so i can begin coding and hosting things on a separate drive. no more cloud storage crap thank god. i wanna access my files offline, and now i can w/o constant syncing etc.

I've talked about an AU similar to this with my brother and I love!! Seeing it illustrated AH!!! I adore this so much. It fits the headcanons I have so well.

ProjectZomboid的au,(Wesker是普通人类警察

WHY ARE WE FISTING THE AIR AND LOCKING IN PLACE??? i cant stand how my mains on all games are so bugged/useless rn

im so bored of most games that i like to now deliberately hinder myself. dbd i now am only running 2 useless perks as im genuinely so bored. apex doesnt have the fun anymore now the gundam event is over :(

every game i play has bugs in it i play to relax AND IM NOT RELAXED!!! IM LOSING MY MIND!!!

pov: me crashing out whilst streaming dbd to atlas

!!! that's soooo awesome i'm glad it worked out and some of your stress and anxieties will be alleviated soon. i hope the transition into the new job is smooth as well. LOTS OF LUCK

staring at the projects i want to finalize but have to wait until my brain actively remembers sentence structure with pain in my eyes.

i love going from full energy weeks to 0 energy weeks very cool.

me and atlas for the last year

🐍

the glory years of bamboo where it favoured quality of their products for customer use...
i think it's kinda cute how most artists in our age bracket with our study types near all used the same product. NOW WE'RE ALL NEAR 30 AND BARELY TOUCHING ART PROFESSIONALLY LMAO

um. i don't like how normalised TERF ideology phrases are becoming when discussing cases of misogyny...

much as vent was a cesspool there truly has never been a 121 replacement and that's sad. The internet is so about algorithms these days that it's hard to even search for things

Ive nuked a lot of my personal tumblrs in the but mayhaps I will commit to something for once. BELOVED OCD PARANOIA I cannot stand you but I must fight it since the NHS don't wanna help me

it sucks bc I wanna have a big shared place to yap but also I don't actually care to get attention on my personal posts so I need to find a balance. I'm not comfortable "venting" on most platforms these days so I gotta be OK still sharing things.

it's for viperfyed.dreamwidth.org
this since i can't stand how tumblr formatting is these days and want an archive of my longer yappin anyway

my 5th attempt at some form of aesthetic i like be like