I dreamt I was a bunny // I dreamt I was a cat // The dreams in which I'm flying are the ones when I'm a bat.

Controversial opinion, I know, but I'm really not a fan of being bamboozled

I don't know why I'm that way but I am

My pubes are made of velcro

Tfw your hackles are raised

Can you explain this thigh gap in your resume?

Telling my potential hookups to have their orgasms before we actually meet up. Much more efficient that way

Tinder bio that says "No parabens, phthalates, sulfates, silicones, or artificial fragrances"

Gondor calls for mutual aid

I don't usually get too adventurous with pizza

I'm bleeding from my blood hole

I keep misinterpreting the signals the cordyceps fungus sends to my brain to get me to reach the highest point as wanting me to maximize my potential

By 28 you should have invested in enough of the tech and military trees that by the time you reach level 10 you'll be able to use the "Convert Capital" button to turn your home planet into a giant weapon capable of destroying a planet's core.

I would never

A vast alien colony ship has appeared above skies of Monowi, Nebraska

Paying someone to throw a love potion at me from behind a mirror

Putting in a 2 week notice for the gc I've been in for five years

Come manzanas

The penis processor is all gunked up again

Greed, Pot of

Looks delicious

4 maybe 5

Ok so if the economy tanks then we still need a DPS and healer to fill out the rest of the squad

I certainly hope so

Just tried having sex with the sex bot I got last week but as soon as we got started she yelled "ACCESSORY NOT SUPPORTED. CONTACT CUSTOMER SUPPORT NUMBER 564JY6"

I know my penis is small but I don't appreciate being mocked and I certainly won't be buying from them in the future

No I haven't

My wife left me for my imaginary friend

Having a severe allergic reaction to the darkness inside my soul

Cracked my phone on my large erection

Does anyone want to play marble ribalds