#InHeavenThereIsNoBeer 🖤💛🏀

Benson Boone I was not familiar with your game.

I didn’t work today (tbh I didn’t even shower today) and this is still somehow the Mondayest Thursday ever.

what’s everyone getting me for my birthday?

Frightening pumpkin bread Christmas bears

This Facebook Marketplace listing is what nightmares are made of

I’ll bet our therapists all go out drinking together.

We actually may have started the fire. Sorry 😬

repost with a pic you have saved that you haven't found a use for

I saw a dev post that it’s a bug they worked out recently and it will fix itself eventually

“Give me chips and wine and leave me alone” was evidently not the right answer when my mom asked what I want to do for my 40th bday.

a photo of a denim wallet with a pocket similar to that on a pair of jeans, including the stitching and pocket rivet

*pulling out my jallet*

Me: Uh oh, looks like I'm jort on jash

Remember “extra credit” in school? I wish I could do that now. “Sorry I missed the meeting last week but here’s an essay on frogs to make up for it.”

A lady in the office just learned the word dongle and has been having the time of her life

My kids hooked up a doorbell with snap circuits so now my life is just doorbell. I miss life before doorbell.

I'm sick of teeth being so high maintenance. Cleaning? EVERY DAY?? Or you fall out? You don't see the other bones acting this way. Seriously, grow up.

@mylesgordon9.bsky.social which one am I 🙃

retirement home for pirates where they all have a tennis ball at the end of their peg leg

"Do you think I reference dinosaurs too much when I write?" I asked.

She was silent, like the p in pterodactyl, but it said everything.

some people are like a file you download that ends at 99%