And here I am, crying over spilt milk because the deeper issue I want to cry about today is sinking its teeth in. Because the stupid little distraction adventure I planned for myself is failing miserably. I just want to crawl in a hole and never come out.

I would have hoped sleeping on it would have made me feel better but instead I still feel just as miserable. I hate this. I feel like I just want to cry until there's nothing left of me.

I am always going to be a prisoner of someone else's emotional response.

This is not a cry for help. This is me shouting into the void about how miserable I am feeling like I have to keep asking for permission to take up space. How I'm always gonna feel like I have to remain closed off. How I will never escape this feeling of my needs and desires being a burden.

I'm burned out. Socially. emotionally, all of it. I can't exist or enjoy myself when I have to be so hypervigilant of how I'm perceived even in spaces where I thought I could even show the slightest vulnerability. I'm trying not to isolate, but I just can't handle being around anyone right now.

I'm the most miserable I've ever felt. What's the fucking point? It feels like any time I do any for myself I get punished for it one way or another. It's hard to feel good about anything when I just keep feeling like a fucking burden.

Fucking gross. Sometimes I forget Sibe exists, then randomly pops up. I have him blocked everywhere, and somehow still followed me. PDX peeps I highly suggest avoiding this dude, this guy is a predator and a creep.

Yeah that's pretty accurate

Not sure! I'm looking at a really cute outfit from Blackmilk that's Morticia-esque and maybe I'll do something with that if I can afford it!

I feel this. It's so hard to keep up with commission work and be consistent when you're relying on the income it brings. I barely do art anymore as a result and it sucks.

a scene from Midsommar

Bluesky welcoming new arrivals from Twitter

Hey there Mr. Blue Sky~