from Wednesday's post: the Secretary of Stupid, Piss-Drunk Pete Kegstand, basically ordered our military to commit more war crimes, and then Little Donny Fuckface got up and blithered incoherently, because of course he did. please read the whole thing — link is here: bit.ly/3KOoHiU
NEW VIDEO: “Protecting Pedophiles for Tax Cuts.” Exploring Republicans’ eagerness to shield adults who rape children in order to ensure the GOP can continue to give billionaires tax cuts, take away healthcare from ordinary Americans, and kidnap refugees. Glory!
youtu.be/HnzIk21NGHw
Q: What's your response to Speaker Johnson saying that Democrats want to give health care to people who are here illegally?
Sen. Warren: It's a lie. He is lying about this is because no Republican wants to face what they have done. They are taking away health care for millions of Americans
Q: Are you in favor of extending the ACA subsidies?
GOP Senator: I'm not. It is not a good idea to extend it. We don't deny the fact there are increases coming in health care costs and insurance premiums.
I spotted a difference between Donald Trump and his audience yesterday:
In the history of mealymouthed disingenuousness in American politics, few have come even close to this annoying puritanical pixie.
Post by John.
Never beaten a man in an election and can’t walk up a flight of stars.
🎀🎀
But, the bottom line is that we rule our government, not the other way around. And Trump is weak. That is why he is lashing out. Jimmy Kimmel is on the air everywhere, DHS admitted wrongdoing in NYC, and everyone is pointing out how weak and embarrassing this Comey indictment is.
EscalatorGate™ is now in its third day and shows no sign of abating — and in typical Donny carnival-barker style, the story of how an escalator briefly turned into stairs gets more outlandish with each retelling. the escalator going up to the Main Speaking Floor came to a screeching halt. It stopped on a dime. It’s amazing that Melania and I didn’t fall forward onto the sharp edges of these steel steps, face first. that’s right, Melania came this close to a brush with the United Nations’ patented Whirling Blades of Death. as we discussed yesterday, no one was ever in any danger — but by next week, Donny’s going to be telling us that his Slovenian rent-a-wife had to somersault past laser beams — which, by the way, is a thing she can do because of the ninja training she received, while also learning to speak five languages (none of them English).
AS DING-DONG DONNY KEEPS HALLUCINATING ABOUT HOW HE AND WHAT'S-HER-NAME NARROWLY ESCAPED BEING
"ESCALATORED" TO BITS, A FOREIGN DIPLOMAT ASKED, AREN'T WE EMBARRASSED BY OUR DIPSHIT PRESIDENT? I ANSWER THE QUESTION VERY POWERFULLY IN TODAY'S POST. THANK YOU FOR READING, LINK IS HERE: bit.ly/4pC3clD
dear lord, what a fucking snowflake. a snowflake like no one’s even seen before. maybe the flakiest snowflake of all time. grow the fuck up, bro. do you think Teddy Roosevelt would have been spooked by an escalator? absolutely not. just look at this homey. T-Rose would have punched the shit out of those balky autostairs.
here's one of my favorite passages from today's post, about Day Three of Donny's whiny tantrum over an escalator that turned into stairs. you can read it in all its glory here: bit.ly/4pC3clD
what, no tariffs on escalators yet? THIS IS SOME BULLSHIT
I'm so old, I remember when wearing a tan suit was tyranny
here's today's post: "yup, these fucking fucks indicted James Comey" — we truly live in the dumbest police state ever.
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I detest this guy for what he did to the email lady in 2016. James Comey is not our friend — but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t all stand with Comey when he’s the victim of fucked-up fascism on steroids. let Comey find his comeuppance in a way that doesn’t shred our system of justice.
let's get real: James Comey FUCKING SUCKS and isn't our friend. but that doesn't mean we shouldn't all be HORRIFIED that Donny Convict is using the government to persecute his political enemies — because the fuckery doesn't stop with Comey. who will be next? please read my post here: bit.ly/3Ii1zsv
all you people saying that Comey is "getting what he deserves," what are you going to say when it's Adam Schiff and Letitia James? because make no mistake, that's who Donny is coming for next. this isn't about Comey, or what you think of him
it's Saturday, and it's time for "this week in stupid: September 27 edition" — Nancy defines it, Lindsey refines it, and so much more...
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I’ll give Old Linz credit for this, though: describing Dear Leader as a cross between the carny barker who would scam you out of your last nickel and the former president who was so senile that his wife (and her astrologer) were secretly running the county is actually super fucking accurate.
WHAT A LOSER! LINDSEY "KOMPROMAT? WHAT KOMPROMAT?" GRAHAM COMPARED DONALD TRUMP TO PT BARNUM AND RONNIE REAGAN — AND THOUGHT THAT WAS A *GOOD* THING. I COVER THIS AND ALL THE DUMBFUCKIEST SHIT THAT HAPPENED IN "THIS WEEK IN STUPID." THANK YOU READING MY TREMENDOUS POST HERE: bit.ly/4pR8pWP
hey, remember when Kamala Harris warned everyone that Trump would use the military on us, and the press was all "shut up, laughing lady, prove you worked at McDonald's"? that was fun, wasn't it
here's today's post: "oh noes! Preznit Fuckwit got escalatored to smithereens!" — another day, another batshit speech from the whiniest diaper-baby ever.
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here’s why it’s a big deal: Dear Leader was slightly inconvenienced for an entire thirty seconds — so naturally, the cultists completely lost their shit. “The second that escalator stopped, bullets should been flying at the UN staffers who orchestrated this attack, rendering our President a sitting duck.” what a great idea. let’s just start spraying bullets in all directions, before anyone even has a chance to figure out what the fuck just happened. what could possibly go wrong? Fox News found object Jesse Watters has a more nuanced suggestion: why waste bullets, when we have bombs? “this was an insurrection … what we need to do is either leave the UN or bomb it.” oh, please. could you people get over yourselves? it was a minor glitch. just give that escalator the Nobel Peace Prize it so richly deserves and move on. but no, we can’t move on. we live in the stupidest possible timeline, so we have to turn a stopped escalator into an international incident. “If someone at the UN intentionally stopped the escalator as the President and First Lady were stepping on, they need to be fired and investigated immediately.” you fucking snowflakes. investigated for what? what’s the crime, Grand Theft Thirty Seconds?
from today's post: Donny had to walk up a stuck escalator and the entirety of MAGA lost their fucking minds, because they're all whiny diaperload toddlers who see every minor inconvenience as proof of a nefarious plot against Dear Leader. thanks for reading my post, which is here: bit.ly/46RsFQl
someone cancelled their subscription to my newsletter yesterday because I "swear too much" and I'm like hello, is this your first day on the internet
you may reasonably ask: why is a stopped escalator such a big deal? here’s why it’s a big deal: Dear Leader was slightly inconvenienced for an entire thirty seconds — so naturally, the cultists completely lost their shit. “The second that escalator stopped, bullets should been flying at the UN staffers who orchestrated this attack, rendering our President a sitting duck.” what a great idea. let’s just start spraying bullets in all directions, before anyone even has a chance to figure out what the fuck just happened. what could possibly go wrong? Fox News found object Jesse Watters has a more nuanced suggestion: why waste bullets, when we have bombs? “this was an insurrection … what we need to do is either leave the UN or bomb it.” oh, please. could you people get over yourselves? it was a minor glitch. just give that escalator the Nobel Peace Prize it so richly deserves and move on. but no, we can’t move on. we live in the stupidest possible timeline, so we have to turn a stopped escalator into an international incident. “If someone at the UN intentionally stopped the escalator as the President and First Lady were stepping on, they need to be fired and investigated immediately.” you fucking snowflakes. investigated for what? what’s the crime, Grand Theft Thirty Seconds?
from today's post: Donny had to walk up a stuck escalator and the entirety of MAGA lost their fucking minds, because they're all whiny diaperload toddlers who see every minor inconvenience as proof of a nefarious plot against Dear Leader. thanks for reading my post, which is here: bit.ly/46RsFQl
here's today's post, in which I answer an ambassador's question: "yes, we all know he’s fucking nuts" — and we’re all embarrassed.
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BREAKING: Democrat Adelita Grijalva has won the special election in AZ-7 to fill her late father's US House seat. The discharge petition to release the Epstein files needs one more signature, and she's expected to sign it. www.nbcnews.com/politics/202...
here's today's post: "dumbfucks spewing stupid shit: your Republican roundup" — scenes from the Sunday shows.
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the less said about the Charliekirkpallooza in Arizona yesterday, the better — so I’m not going to talk about it at all, except to observe for the umpteenth time that Charlie Kirk did not deserve to be murdered. but at the same time, that didn’t make him a saint. the one thing, however, that was too fucking surreal to ignore was President Worst Version’s entrance — with fireworks. who does this? who considers this a dignified way take the stage during a memorial? like everything else in this skeevy dipshit’s life, it’s gaudy, tasteless, crude — and entirely inappropriate. and MAGA eats it right up — because it’s a fucking cult. the tackier Dear Leader is, the more they adore him. I swear, we’re living a real-life Idiocracy.
"DIPSHIT DONNY" NEEDED TACKY FIREWORKS AT CHARLIE KIRK'S MEMORIAL, BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT YOU DO WHEN YOU'RE A BROKEN-INSIDE PEACOCK NARCISSIST. SAD! I EXPLAIN ALL OF THIS WEEKEND'S "DUMBFUCKERY" IN TODAY'S BEAUTIFUL POST, WHICH MANY PEOPLE SAY IS TREMENDOUS. LINK IS HERE, THANK YOU: bit.ly/424kmOD
