Sometimes I find one of the dolls I haven’t seen since the twitter exodus and I think “wow, how tf did I not add you alread- oh I did, my main feed is just a fucking deluge so I have to make sure to put you in my custom feed or I never see you…”
Girl, get your lists in order. Your feed is a mess.
AI;DR
Giggling at how much this couple that got on the bus just now smells like pussy sex 🙈🫣
Gentle, sweet things. Teasing, nibbling too if it’s the vibe.
Gosh I am so gay for gorgeous women in my lil phone. Tysm Emmy
Literally every person attracted to women likes tgirls, whether they want to admit it or not. Trans women are literally just women, it’s okay, there’s nothing forbidden about being attracted to beautiful ladies
Vaguely screaming into the void about maybe finally getting the thing I needed all along but also the body has kept the fucking score while it’s been waiting for it.
I think sometimes people just want to blame someone else for their own unhappiness.
You gave him so many chances to get better, to be better, and he instead just kept blaming and abusing you for how unhappy he kept making himself.
Me, on a bus in Germany, “okay I guess busses don’t count in this chart because they use roads?! 🤦♀️”
I wonder if regular Americans and Brits know how big Hungary’s election is for rolling back the rise of western fascism?
This guy has been funneling Putin money and influence into the west for over a decade to poison the EU and generate fear-generating propaganda.
It's a good night to read this excellent piece, on the Orban regime's network of financial support for the nationalist right in Britain.
For many on the radical right, the tills are about to stop ringing.
democracyforsale.substack.com/p/orbans-brits
Pussy eaten so good I fall down the stairs trying to walk 😅🙈
Treble Clef: here are the notes I hope you like them ☺️
Bass Clef: I moved all your stuff, good luck finding anything, Ds are Fs now fuck you
💕
Whoa, interview with the vampire show 🤯
I have a thing for the unavailable ones 🤦♀️
Sometimes it feels like the best thing I can do for my partners is leave.
To do something useful like go to work or make new friends or find another place to live-
Where I don’t bother them with how I feel rejected, or abandoned, or not important or loved being myself.
Hard night, hard morning 🙁
> In someone’s story you will be the villain, another’s- a hero.
You never deserved cruelty and blame. She made decisions that caused harm.
What she did is her karma-
healing and moving past it is mine.
I get to write the rest of my story, not her. I live far away and I am safe here- it’s over.
But the story didn’t end in youth. Since then, you read books, you watched essays, you discussed for hours, you went to therapy for years- and most importantly you helped others grow and be kinder too. You apologized, acknowledged, and changed.
That she hurt you, now, is a statement about her, now.
And when I ask this part, what are you ashamed or afraid of?
I worry that I deserved that cruelty and so it will keep happening, again and again. Because for me to treat someone the way she treated me, I would have to feel so hurt and angry and overwhelmed. I know how hurtful and mean young me was.
In ptsd discussions, we talk about how you can’t rewrite the past, but you can save yourselves from being stuck there.
So a nightmare about the hardest events in the hardest year of my life can remind me there is a scared, hurting part of me that needs love and support. She’s afraid to relax now.
The best way to do that is to take these parts of ourselves, stuck in the past, holding these extreme beliefs and attachments-
and parent and love them. Show them the patience, love, and support that your ex/parent/whatever didn’t show you. Be the difference you wish was there the first time, now.
If I just grounded-
This isn’t who I thought she was. She is not good for me and I am not good for her. Any cost is worth it to end this chapter and get the peace and safety I deserve. And now it’s over.
But the stress is tied to my relationship to work, income, stability- it’s loss and regaining.
Because the damage, the suffering, was the spiral and depression after those moments.
The pain she caused me was undeserved and unfair.
The suffering I experienced was my own attachment to who I wanted her to be, how I wanted it to go, how much I wanted to control the outcome, the value judgement.
And so of course I try to appeal to her in the dream, like hey this isn’t who and how I remember you to be, and she absolutely is mask off cruel and spiteful and mean.
Aha- It’s our last fights on loop.
I don’t know how I can ever recover from the betrayal I experienced in those 2, 10min fights.
It’s absolutely wild how little time my brain let me feel back in control of my life-
before it started manifesting threatening scenarios in the vulnerable simulation factory.
It loves to generate these scenarios like “it’s legally impossible for her to appeal our settlement, but what if she did-”
I got my first paycheck at my new (part time) job last week. It’s humble but livable for Leipzig.
I’m having nightmares about my ex wife again. This nightmare, she’s been waiting for me to have a job to sue for recurring support because her house needs repairs from her neglecting it (my fault? 🙄)
Damn, I fell for an AI pic that I reshared and a friend called me out on it.
Number of days since reposting ai slow reset to 0
Struggling with the work/WW3 balance.
I feel like that is what makes me ready to be a parent in a way I wasn’t 10 years ago-
I learned my humility. I know that there will be hundreds of times my own biases, hopes, and fears will get in the way of me being thoughtful, gentle, and affirming to others. But I know to slow down and listen.
Idk, sounds nice.
Wish I could have been more like that earlier in life.
I am happy to be doing the work now at least.
That’s probably my karma this cycle- learning how not to do it and then how to do it differently instead.