Hello, I’m Jewish. I think genocide is bad and Zohran Mamdani is good. Hope this help.

miss u

We are speedrunning the Declaration of Independence, folks.

ok which one of you thirsty bitches put the heart shaped notes in luigi’s socks

irl neko atsume

tbh i waited way too long to tell them about the mistake because i was riveted

once i got added to a group chat that wasn’t for me by accident but it was just some roadie i worked with once and his family talking about this dog’s first time at the beach

veep ass government

my forever favorite is lady gaga opening as 1st of 3 at the leonard st knitting factory in 2007. even then, we knew it was something special. my first words after she came offstage were, “when are you putting out an album?!??!” because i wanted to those songs in my ipod and on my myspace profile.

i’m so sorry, friend

saxon frenching his brother

has any band ever been this effortlessly cool before or since?

"check out this brilliant money saving secret i invented!" - me at 22

now do wind energy!!!

everything is extremely depressing but you gotta admit it’s funny that a bunch of republicans are willing to buy electric vehicles to own the libs

why didn’t someone tell us it was daddy issues in space, my star wars ass would have watched them decades ago

watching the love is blind weddings i can't help but think of the poor PA whose job it is to move all those wayfair-ass gold candle holders from the reveal hallway to the wedding venues

It's no surprise to me I'm am a sea anemone, cuz every now and then i sting the living shit out of me

one single correctly implemented wedgie could save the republic as we know it

likewise my dude, it’s awful out there

deeply invested in this project

quasar?

Maybe you can find somebody who can help, man, maybe call your representative? Who is it

at this point i feel like the final boss for therapists, like they should have to fight over which one of them is worthy to treat me.

she musta crawled under there for warmth

yesterday i got a rejection letter from a job whose interview i ghosted on seven months ago, from a business that closed permanently two months ago. the email said they went with a more qualified candidate.

i don’t believe 2025 is going to be my year even a little bit, but am willing to invest in the idea of things being marginally ok by 2028-2030 or so

“don’t forget to leave milk and cookies out for Santa tonight 😄😝”

this is 100% what i was told (by a neighbor kid) and believed

we start pre shift meetings by announcing it’s some random holiday and i just told my coworker it’s nostradamus’ birthday (it is!) and she earnestly replied, “like the vampire???”