*slithers into hospital*, *hisses to receptionist*, *hisses to doctor*, *looks at crying snake wife*

What his number (or they I don’t judge)

What’s his number haha

This account is so back

Robot snake toy

AI is trying to steal my job.

Short mf lmao

Hand holding private music cd by deftones

HELP THEY TRAPPED ME IN THIS CD AND SOME WEIRD GIRL BOUGHT ME

I’m running out of snake jokes can you pretend this is funny

I just looked up big snake on Google without safe search on. Needless to say, I’m disappointed in you.

Something something something I’m a snake

No IM a snake

I always feel like a dragon sitting on a pile of gold, just without the wings.

Snakes are NOT hot. We are DEADLY. You should be SCARED of us.

Don’t eat snakes then????

It is!

What’s their number?

Nah you should see how that guy gets after 2 beers, most dangerous mf ever.

Does anyone know a good snake oil seller? I need some for my skin.

They’re not a REAL snake

Snake yaoi

Yeah?

Adopt a snake today, we could use a home

Quit snitching

Album cover for “private music” by “deftones.” White snake on green background

I really appreciate deftones making jobs for snakes with private music! People don’t tend to give snakes jobs anymore due to the stigma around is injecting people with venom.

Slander.

Same

Bro where did you get that fit lowk

Nah I’d just eat them lowk

That red snake kinda

You should’ve chosen a snake