muttering under my breath repeatedly:

we’re going to the precedented times

For real

Pam Bondi crushed her audition for real housewives today

“We must use the time we have for best, to be leader until all other don’t, it is our promise to each other to make for country, to be example after the children, and to solve energy for families that struggle to put table on food.”

“Great Melania, let’s do another take!”

forever and ever:

I regret that I have but one life to give for my country

I slept through January 6th:

I had stayed up all night waiting for the Ossof / Warnock runoff results.

The Proud Boys had tried to cause trouble the weekend before to no avail.

I woke up to a hundred texts and men climbing scaffolding.

Oddly, I was not all that surprised.

oh man honored to be here appreciate you so much 🤝

MY LADY IN PARIS - @scotterybarn.bsky.social

Hilariously absurd and poignant in equal measure, I dare say this is Scott's masterpiece. A collection of stories about a story so engrossing that will make you reconsider how artists interact with their art.

#SpecScriptShoutOut
#Scriptsky

if I wanted a coke fiend to yell at me about how great a job they’re doing I’d just watch Scarface

medium: your mom’s obit? Let me crop that photo in the worst way possible

RIP, JENNY LEE BURKHART LEGER RIP, JENNY LEE BURKHART LEGER [EDITOR’S NOTE: These remarks were delivered on 12/10/23 at Colorado Academy, where my Mom taught preschool and ran the Horizons program, which was a summer camp that …

Babs recently asked me which piece of writing I am most proud of writing in my lifetime

We both agreed it’s this one

Delivered two years ago yesterday.

Time is so weird.

medium.com/@TheScottLeg...

Thanks man! And don’t threaten me with a good time! 📬

hahahaha THANK YOU I am biased as its parent but I think it’s amazing for sure 🤣 it’s just such a nutty story

Finished the new script at exactly 3:00 AM PST.

It’s the best thing I’ve ever written, and even though I say that every time, this time it is in fact true.

And so, it is with my tremendous & utmost joy that I may now say to all of you—

“SO I HEAR Y’ALL LIKE LOUVRE HEISTS”

Steve Bannon:

he is a vessel of righteousness, he is our savior incarnate, he will win a third term in 2028

The underage girl sitting on his lap at Epstein island:

your breath smells like gasoline and skin cancer

Bluesky = Sensei Sergio

Twitter = Colonel Lockjaw

the president ordering a military flyover to silence their victims of sexual assault and human trafficking is some shit VEEP would do for dark laughs late in its run

if I could time travel back to 18 yr old Scott and lay out my last 3 scripts and say—

here’s the work you’ve done, you won’t know if you’re successful or not, would you stick with these or want a do-over?

Sticking with, of course.

Insanely proud of the work.

Still want more.

it is very weird — speaking as a frog — to watch one’s self slowly be boiled

sorry guys I had to check out for a minute there, everything got a little too Orwellian for me

—George Orwell, really high on his own supply

Trump fucked Pam Bondi right

(it isn’t)

it can feel like anything is possible in the late afternoon Los Angeles sun

Thanks man! Haha yeah although it at least seems like I’ve graduated to 7s after years of 6s so we’re trending in the right direction at least. Let’s catch up soon.

Thanks! I figure a 7 for a 153 page script is like a 9 for a tight 90 😂

yeehaw, indeed 🤠🏜️🏦

one day you’re young, the next day you’re yelling at people for not stopping at the stop signs in your neighborhood

Jeffrey Epstein to Donald Trump—

not today, Sunday scaries ⚾️ 💊