I don't think I'm stable and should prob take a social media break. Every time I crash out here I feel like I socially die a little more. Don't think Bsky is ever gonna do private accounts or circles.

My self worth is based on what I feel I can -do-

What I can take pride in. The things I do are grueling, thankless, and don't make me feel good

and the things that are supposed to make me feel good I'm terrible at.

idk, i feel like dirt, I should sleep

I'm getting too damn old to be Bad at everything I do rip

I'm legit the kind of person who'd sell their soul to be amazing at the guitar

I play with the kindest most supportive people on Earth now and I still just Hear those old voices and feel like shit it's incredible

i have bad history w/people who used to treat me like shit over not being very good at games and their voices are really loud when I'm sober because I never learned to deal w/them. And eventually when the losses stack up I get so stressed out I just, Quit, like most other pursuits of mine

I keep finding new people I'm blocked by and it's bumming me out lol

I do not have it in me to compete. Anytime I get invested in PVP, fighters, card games, mobas, shooters, w/e my MMR climbs to a point every one is better around me; same ins ocial groups. I try to keep up b/c playing w/pals is supposed to be fun, but I just can't keep up, even when I sweat

made me miss Mr. "the accumulation of little despairs is what makes you an adult"

a man covering his face with his hands in a cartoon style ALT: a man covering his face with his hands in a cartoon style

finally saw the higuruma eps and had hype tears. had to get up and physically walk around my room because I couldn't stay in my seat

bastards will lose

a robot with a red and white shield is holding a light saber ALT: a robot with a red and white shield is holding a light saber

pass the sake, we got Gundam (79) to get through

Did not lapse into smoking over another TACO but did cave and eat my Mojo Pork meal .__. I've been under 1800 calories for the past two weeks I will eat 2400 for -one- day (and removed this kit but my plan)

Years of vaping have prob not helped. very :( rn

CW: mouth/teeth

Shot of the one cuspid that's messed up vs the other

brief research points to, No, and I might need a tissue graft if I want to fix it cosmetically, even if my oral health overall is good

Realized that gums on my cuspid have receded a fair bit and exposed the tooth and didn't realize the damage. I just had a dental check up and they said my teeth were good, no cavities or gum disease, but I'm just now noticing this Droop and am v.self-conscious about it. Hoping it's reversible but-

heron :]

Kills everyone who has to participate a little at least.

Turns good dudes numb and numb dudes evil.

There's been no real condemnation of what Trump has said and is doing today from nearly all of the so called Western leaders who claim to uphold the rules based international order.

No call for sanctions or consequences.

Same with Gaza, same with Venezuela. Greenland was the exception ofc.

i think the easiest way to explain whats going on is: people say anything they want about me, their followers believe it, a lot of people don't even know who i am. people get my handles mixed up. people think i only existed under one username and only in fatfur. its context collapse.

When profit becomes the major signpost for success the soul dies

Trying not to doom spiral after looking into it, since the fucker tends to always speak in lies but the fear is very real.

What happened today while I was teaching?

Having a small health scare. Nothing serious at least but unfortunately a new thing to be sad about.

i think computers that let me play games with my friends and watch videos online are cool

I think computers that that mine shitcoin and make ai movies should be hit with big rocks

trying to read a thread involving people who are much smarter than me*