Mr Hevs says that he thought Felicia was dressed purposefully as Scorpion from Mortal Kombat, which means absolutely nothing to me, and he's now had the whole background to her explained instead, much to his chagrin #Melfest

I thought that Lilla would absorb some of the televote but it's looking like a total Felicia landslide #Melfest

I've said it before and I'll say it again, I just don't know how Mr Coffee got a better result than this #Melfest

I have questions about the beard, Danny (not good ones) #Melfest

I promise I sent this before the song started... #Melfest

Aw they're wearing the Herreys gold shoes 😍 #Melfest

It's a schlager-fest, even better #Melfest

Are we getting KAJ x Alcazar...? #Melfest

Bjorkman jumpscare #Melfest

Just realised the song that Saga's reminded me of - Ain't No Good by Mimi Werner, Melfest heritage #Melfest

Helena is so just down the hall sending this over #Melfest

I know we're only 3 juries in but Delulu not being dead last is a surprise #Melfest

I can smell the Edward af Sillén all over this (complimentary) #Melfest

Ah it came back 😊

Ngl I was enjoying the whimsical host song more #Melfest

I don't see a world where Felicia doesn't win (famous last words) #Melfest

My least favourite yeehaw-ovision entry of the year #Melfest

What does taking your shirt off get you in Fantasanremo, Melodifestivalen edition? #Melfest

Finally on with #Melfest - Gina Dirawi is aging backwards

I disassociated at work today while Delulu was playing through my headphones, which was a surreal moment when I came back around

(for some reason I quite like Delulu, sue me)

Also personal highlights include Fulminacci getting inducted into the 7th is reserved for icons only spot, Italy having two whole women in the top 5, a v credible showing for most of the young guns, and Elettra Lamborghini not finishing last

Buongiorno - what a wild, and yet not unexpected, Sanremo result. It's one of those great things where the top 5 (aside from the unstoppable Fedez + Masini) all could have been there, or 6-10, or randomly 23rd, and I wouldn't have batted an eye.

Viva Sal Da Vinci and his love of love 💒💑

Finally turned on Sanremo to Andrea Bocelli flying in on a white horse, most normal thing to happen this week #Sanremo

So in an odd turn of events, I watched the last hour of Norway, and have a sneaking suspicion that Jonas Lovv could do very well in the locals 'this doesn't sound like a Eurovision song so it must be good' voting pool

I hope whoever the Mileo fan was in York is having a good time right now #MGP

Everyone's settling down to watch NF finals, I'm watching a Danish doc on the Profumo affair, we're not the same 💁‍♀️

(We're in a damp Copenhagen and the hotel TV has been teasing me with a faux option for Rai1 that's not actually tuned in, my pain is immeasurable)

Oh, and RAI being terrified of same sex kissing, which tracks 🙃

Had to live vicariously through translated Italian memes these past few serate (and I'm almost definitely missing the last night which is like the first time in six years), but I gather I have wholesome father/son moments, and musical theatre greatness to delve into later on

Does San Marino not have vetting protocols? Has an awful lot of money changed hands for this to happen (yes of course it has)

Not my brain being so Sanremo that the name that jumped out first for Una Voce was Rosa Chemical

And then I saw it...

BOY GEORGE?!