They missed like 45 empty net opportunities!

Bostons SUCKS at playing against an empty net. Something to consider, Lindy.

lol, making them nervous.

Sabres, I swear to god.

I just want them to score some normal goals. Like, plain old goals. Spread out evenly across 60 minutes of playtime.

Tage doesn't know that.

Someone show Tage Thompson a Reel of Trump's greatest zingers. We need him amped at any cost. These are desperate times.

Many heartfelt boos from my couch.

Fuck a duck

As painful as this is at the moment, think how funny it would be if they come back again.

I can't believe Josh Allen just saw that goal.

What the actual fuck

Sabres, I INSIST that you score here. INSIST.

Lindy needs to yell at these bozos. Get them, Lindy.

Gone. No whimsy whatsoever.

Dammer hammer

Sabres, just in case no one has actually said this to your little dumb faces, it is okay to score first in the playoffs. They don't have to be thrilling come from behind wins. They can be go ahead and stay ahead wins. Try it. It's fun!

Buckle your helmets you dinks

OH NOOOOO! A power play!!! Refs you suck! Why would you do this to us? He tripped himself. The Sabres tripped HIMSELF.

Damn, Sabres. You're being kind of a lot right now. Both good and bad. I'm stressed.

How is Sabretooth always there on the glass? He's a wizard.

Get them, Sabres! BE GOOD FOR JOSH ALLEN! JOSH ALLEN CAN SEE YOU RIGHT NOW.

lol, I realize now you're talking about Joyce Carol Oates, not JoAnn.

She would accept with encouragement and she would be legit shocked/moved by the reception. She's not a sport fan (that I'm aware of) but she's also not an idiot. She knows a good vibe when she sees one.

JoAnn Falletta

If I were to say, buy Sabres season tickets for next year, would they let me buy playoffs tickets for potential later rounds this year? Just spit balling here.

My mental health is hanging on by a THREAD these days, and I gotta say, the shots of the Sabres crowd last night really legitimately help. Take the joy where it is available. Always.

Are there any hilarious despairing Boston Bruins takes that need to be widely distributed?

We're gonna see some good Sabres playoff beards.

We need some sort of voting drive where the objective is to cancel out the terrible votes of American hockey players. That way we can root for them with a clear conscience. Like carbon credits, but for idiot athletes.