REVEREND: And now, the couple has elected to write their own vows. We’ll start with the groom

GROOM: [clears throat] WHAZAAHHHHHH,

A child appears to be unconscious on a hospital bed. Subtitles read "Your son tested positive for cannibis"

It's the freakin weekin

Yeah I’m a leftist. I left dis kid at the fire station and I’m gonna leave dat one in da hot car later

Scrolling my TL and I'm so confused. Weren't we skipping Wrestlemania? Wasn't that the cool and trendy thing to do? Why am I seeing all these takes???

The Pitt: The Video Game YouTube video by Hotel Art Thief

🚨 ATTN "THE PITT" IDIOTS 🚨

HIGH QUALITY "THE PITT" SHIT TO LOOK AT:

youtu.be/ML0L20VOE2g

The directors of the firm hired to continue the crossword after the other people had been sacked, wish it to be known that they have just been sacked.

The crossword has been completed in an entirely different style at great expense and at the last minute.

AGAINST ALL ODDS, THOSE WHO BELIEVED BLUESKY THAT THE CRASH WAS DUE TO A DDOS

AND THOSE WHO DIDN'T BELIEVE BLUESKY AND WERE SURE IT WAS BECAUSE OF THE AI VIBE CODING

WERE

BOTH

RIGHT

Michael crichton was 6'9" when he wrote Jurassic park. Imagine the dinosaur adventure Robert Wadlow could have wrote. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle (6'1"): The Lost World (1912) Michael crichton (6'9"): Jurassic park Robert Wadlow (8'11"): ???????????

Simon has left the band and whats worse Alvin said our band is called Alvin and the Chipmunk now. like im just a thing

Now that is a face you simply have to tune in to see every week!

🤼‍♀️🤼

If an actual Quaker dared to do something this boastful they would be cast out

The main characters from Strip Law: Irene Gumb, Lincoln Gumb, Sheila Flambe, and Glem Blorchman looking at the obnoxious neon lights of the Las Vegas strip

Your regular reminder that STRIP LAW is excessively good and you are SORELY missing out if you're not watching it.

step one: make sure they are 30 years younger and work directly under you

🚨Prevent Bear Attacks Tips🚨

1) have games on your phone

Exactly one year ago today:

PROBATION (6 hours)

Endorph

Alright...given you later acknowledged that you went overboard and was unfair with regards to the whole Epstein tapes comparison you made, I suppose I can look past that. But what I CANNOT look past is your besmirchment of Guile's hair, [...]

Leper's Colony Entry

Most incredible possible outcome from a Danhausen curse

PROBATION (3 days)

Endorph

Do not suggest that people would enjoy the Epstein tapes because you're frustrated that they're being too easy on an upcoming videogame movie.

Leper's Colony Entry

and that's when it's working!

you can tell the northernlion cruise would've been great for posting if he had thin enough skin to cancel it this far out from it

Talking like she’s never watched That One Linda Yaccarino Talk

My GUT instinct is to make a joke about this being the train they put me on when They Get Their Way. That's my FIRST instinct. I need to speak to a PROFESSIONAL.

Guy Who Wrote Hamilton Smashes "Accept" On Venmo Transaction From Paul Levesque That Just Says "Blood Money" In Description