My cousin Shawn took weed to impress a girl when we were teenagers and his asshole & penis switched places. All the doctors at the (real) Pitt threw up when they saw it. Be my guest and Get “high” if you want this to happen to you
This is an actual paragraph that had to be written by an actual newspaper.
Notice how the most celebrated and successful space mission in *decades* was run by at least 50% “DEI hires”—not all white men? And not even all Americans. Maybe diversity *is* strength . . .
Armageddon is terrible, but our only other option was diversity trainings at work.
another robot highlight for 2025: man wearing humanoid mocap suit kicks himself in the balls
Everyone is getting upset about the data centers. They pollute a lot and use a lot of energy and will eventually be very ugly/huge vacant buildings. And I understand being mad about that. Until you consider the state of the lazer tag industry at this moment, and how much help that sector needs.
What we're watching: A new take on "Frankenstein," a lavish legal drama starring Kim Kardashian and a Tracy Morgan-led spinoff.
sometimes an Oxford comma can make all the difference
[doctor coming to brief my family in the waiting room]
He's awake and posting.
Calling peoples' employers in a rage because their tributes to Robert Redford weren't horny enough
Holmes: "You are the breeze in desert for me." "My water." "And ocean." "Meant to be only together tiger." Balwani: "OK"
still remains the funniest thing to come out of the Theranos trial
flipping through browser tabs and open spreadsheets trying to piece together what i was working on before the long weekend like i'm guy pearce in memento
When you throw a dead fly in the trash you’re laying it to rest amongst a great fortune like a pharaoh
from Trump's tariffs letter:
"Her Excellency ... Dear Mr. President"
bsky.app/profile/matt...
normal people love a limp bizkit soundtrack
God damn truly none of these guys have anything better to do than be on their fuckin phones
oh my god Nathan
how many years collective years did he take off the lives of HBO's legal team
Tom Petty played a large role as well.
I don’t mean to alarm anyone, but the orcas now have two F/A-18 Hornets
personally would like to see every store show what part of the price increase is due to tariffs bc if these tariffs ever come down, i need to see that price go right back down
Many communications from all different levels of government took on a grade school reading (and spelling) level after doge moved in. Something indicative of the entire administration.
“Focused on one thing” and proceeds to list three things.
Once I got my meds mixed up and was taking a sleeping pill every morning for about 6 weeks, while inadvertently cold-quitting a separate med. Almost ended in divorce 😂
It’s so silly that tech people keep saying that we’re on the verge of a full artificial intelligence takeover and yet most automatic soap dispensers can’t tell hand from not hand half the time.
Classic Jordan ha ha
Kind of think Tesla stock should have done this immediately after the full Nazi coming out party, but I’ll take it.
