Nobody in high office should be called Olly.

Thatcher, Major, Blair, Brown, Cameron, May, Johnson, Truss, Sunak, Starmer.
I'd genuinely be better. #VoteBinface

So when Donald Trump said the Iran War was going swimmingly, he was referring to the crews of oil tankers.

Read all about it! Read all about it!
Count Binface skewers Starmer with satirical sabre of light. countbinface.substack.com/p/sir-sheer-...

Humans! Treat yourself to a full-fat subscription to my 5ubstack 'Count Binface Lifts The Lid' today and you'll get 20% off for life AND a personalised video from yours truly. Space up your spring with the greatest political analysis in the galaxy! countbinface.substack.com/springsale

Want to play a Christ Simulator? There’s a new video game called ‘I Am Jesus Christ’. But I’ve got way better titles for it than that. What’s yours? (Get more golden punnery like this and all my newsletters at my 5ubstack, BetterThanX.co.uk)

Thank goodness for the ceasefire with Iran. Firstly on behalf of the entire civilisation of Iran. And secondly because now there’s surely no reason not to release the rest of the Epstein Files? Including *those* ones. Otherwise it might look like some kind of desperate cover-up.

THE RESULTS ARE IN! It's a ____ of c***s It's the poll of the century

EASTER EXCLUSIVE!
It’s officially a _____ of c***s.
Read the intergalactic Count Binface newsletter for the amazing results, including some very creative suggestions. Out now here! countbinface.substack.com/p/the-result...

Wow! Can I have one?!

Normal service is resumed.

I’m delighted to announce that this morning I have joined Reform UK. Nigel Farage is a principled politician, and his team are ready for government.

What is the collective noun for a group of c***s?

Woods entirely submerged in shit - have bears gone too far?

Is there a #BAFTA for satirical editting?

It's that time again. #AskBinface! Send me your burning questions, policies and arrows of desire, and I'll address them all in this week's episode of Trash Talk, with special guest Max Fosh!

Count Binface Lifts The Lid | Substack The greatest satirical substack in the omniverse. Click to read Count Binface Lifts The Lid, a Substack publication with thousands of subscribers.

For my full take on Nigel doing a runner, check out my Substack, Count Binface Lifts The Lid, at BetterThanX.co.uk

I see Question Time has reached its inevitable endgame. It was bound to happen.

Cameo.com/countbinface 😉

Pretty chuffed with my 0.07% tbh.

Coming soon:
Count Binface + Max Fosh!

Hopefully! Watch this cyberspace.

I see Ed Miliband's leading his best life.

Brand new Trash Talk! My latest guest is author, broadcaster, political strategist and Tory peer Danny Finkelstein. Is the Internet is worth it for the wonders it can do for your LEGO collection? Plus all-new Ask Binface. Get it here! pod.fo/e/3a3102

My latest newsletter is out now! Come get a taste: open.substack.com/pub/countbin...

It's Wednesday, and both Starmer and Badenoch have been rubbish again. So it's time for Prime Binister's Questions. If you've got any burning political questions or policy ideas, ping them to me and I'll answer on the next exciting instalment of my podcast, Trash Talk!

Defensive air strikes. To be filed alongside squeaky-clean bullshit.

Thanks!!!

I'll give you 3x that if you call on the nation to print a picture of kier starmer and put it in the bin.

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It's Pay Day AND Make Starmer Pay Day, all rolled in one!
Thanks for all the kind messages of support, each and every one puts a spring in my space boots.
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Bon Weekend!