Just saw two bunnies fucking in my neighbor's driveway. Those Easter eggs don't come from nowhere

*pew*

For just $9.99/month, you can read about all the atrocities committed by your government with your tax dollars!

My favorite fuel is food

It is snowing in late March. Classic Syracuse

Social media is overrated. I'm going to begin spending less time on it because I am on a quest: to read every single book in my house

making sense is for dumb people, smart people only speak in riddles

Oh wow, have you had storms recently?

Seeing photos on social media these days is like "I spy" a lot of AI

Anyone will tell you that I am not afraid to look like an idiot

I should repost others more. Will I? Time will tell.

I think we're long past this point

Your password must contain a character with a tragic backstory.

Fascinating how global energy stability is so reliant on it not being blown to smithereens

It's even funnier that it's called the "slow worm"

"There is a plan... They're working on"

There is no plan and they're scrambling

Been conditioned to flag any vaguely positive email as being spam or a phishing attempt

My philosophy on hats is that I'd much rather look like an idiot than get cold or sunburned

Silicone kitchenware makes everything they touch taste like soap 😖

A lizard looking through leaves toward the camera

I see you

Despite their name, only about half of sperm whales can produce sperm

Irrelevance could be a superpower

DO NOT under any circumstances ask your pregnant wife if she feels in charge after she says she feels large

Somewhere on the spectrum between miffed and chuffed

Everything went downhill after we reached the summit

Barack Obama as a young man, wearing a brimmed hat, inhaling a cigarette

And chief cigs

𝓢𝓽𝓸𝓷𝓮𝓭, 𝔰𝔱𝔬𝔫𝔢𝔡, &̸͚̠̆ s̴͚̈́̋t̷̡͂͆o̷̜͙̓n̸̺̓̈́ͅe̶͖̰̚d̵̤͂

Eat the rich! Not watch the rich eat

What she said: "I can fix him"

What she meant: castration

If someone were to make a hot dog out of rabbit meat, would it be a hot dog bun or a coney?