Man idk how to express how demoralizing it is to see people doing joke support for the Pope as the Catholic Church implements the most draconian trans healthcare ban anywhere in the US. It's a FULL ADULT TRANS HEALTHCARE BAN!!!THEY KEEP BUYING MORE HOSPITALS!!!!!!!
Moreover, ICE must be destroyed
I hate feeling lied to.
I hate knowing things are hidden from me.
I shouldn’t have to ask…
When my mind is either playing tricks on me or my intuition is knocking. When the churn begins I don’t know what’s real in my head. I just have to live through the brain/heart/spirit chaos until the storm passes.
Me: I’d like to leave a key for my ex later so the oldest kid can use it to get away from the others for a bit.
Hotel Clerk: Ok, and what’s his name?
Me: *grins*
Anytime I’m about to give someone a key to my place is right when things go not so great. I should take it as a hint.
Don’t say that you’re protective/possessive of me while you’re also seeing someone else. Even in a poly situation if you wouldn’t tell me about someone you have been seeing for a month or two is violating.
I’ve tried to be poly. I had a decent go of it. A partner that… is a long story. Another that was nothing but kind to me.
My nervous system just can’t handle it though. I tried. I really did. If you can, that’s great… I have had to come to terms with what my limitations are and what I want.
Anytime I seem to have a really good day or feel really amazing from say getting a tattoo. Life always decides to throw something in the mix. Like a court summons or asking your girlfriend if there is some be else and says yes and it has been going on ever since your blood ran cold randomly.
Trust and Loyalty.
Is what I bring.
Trust and Loyalty.
Is what I require.
I hate being right.
I should listen to my instincts more often to save my heart rather than just hoping I’m wrong.
I hope I’m wrong.
I hope I’m not being lied to by omission.
I wish I didn’t always feel like I’m being lied to. Feel like I’m not being told the whole story. Lied to by omission and basic obfuscation.
I can’t trust.
One relationship taught me that gifts I would give meant nothing.
So I stopped giving gifts.
One relationship taught me that asking for communication fell on deaf ears.
So I stopped asking.
One relationship taught me that all my devotion wasn’t reciprocated.
So I stopped expecting it.
Blood runs cold again. I should sleep.
If I’m told nothing my head will fill that void with suspicion and anxiety. I will consciously know that the gremlins are working against me. But I will sill feel it.
I’m a ray of fucking sunshine.
I don’t fully trust what anybody says beyond my family anymore.
Because it is.
Every time I get that inkling my blood runs cold.
Betrayal.
PSA: twitter, X, is doing new terms of service that basically make it so that any comtent you share on there including DMs and photos is theirs and they can use it for "any purpose" including commercial use.
So, if you have a page you’ve left up and don’t want them there’s time to act 1/
No one on the outside understands.
I mean.
How could they?
I feel like I’m at the beginning again. I hate this.
