It is nice to finally see these robots doing what they were built to do.

Bro, everything you touch turns to shit. Bro, King Midas would freakin' HATE you, bro.

Chef Gordon Ramsay was my father. Please, call me Regular Gordon Ramsay.

Artemis II: Houston, we are now flying by the far side of the moon, the farthest from Earth any human being has- wait a second, what is that?
Me: {on the far side of the moon just trying to shit in peace for once} Ah, Christ.

First day as the social media manager at NASA! Wish me luck!!

If you like eating chocolate covered matzo, wait until you hear about just eating chocolate.

Glenn Boozan wrote a book and I got to illustrate it and it was very fun. "At Least You’re Not an English Major" is available now! Please buy multiple copies so I make a million dollars and/or just keep me in mind if you ever need illustrations.

I was hired to write a song for Project Hail Mary but I got fired after I sent in Eleanor Rigby with the "Eleanor Rigby" part changed to "Project Hail Mary."

Buddy i don't give a shit WHO you are, if you get in my face I'm gonna try to be friends.

Millennial me whenever a song starts in Love Story

You've all seen the video of the McDonald's CEO struggling to stomach his own "product." Well we here at Denny's are clapping back by eating our CEO.

My Oscar prediction is that they are gonna do a Marty Supreme opera/ballet and call it Timothée Chaballet.

Ahyuck guess the joke was on me devotin' my life to the practice of visual arts hyuck gawrsh oops here I got again bein' compelled to master a craft

Captain Hippo Has to Make - Episode 1 YouTube video by CaptainHippo

Finally, a podcast that dares to ask the question "why am I sitting like that?"

www.youtube.com/watch?v=V7rg...

Let Me Use The Time Machine Selected requests to use the town's new Time Orb

A new post from my illustrious unillustrated newsletter

welcometowormfarm.substack.com/p/let-me-use...

Okay so this next character is called Italian Rob Schneider...

"Makin' gnocchies"

It was a coin toss between the two and I made the wrong choice.

{Walking in Memphis voice}

Move over Succession, Industry is my new favorite show where I have no clue what the fuck anyone is talking about.

"Where was the Geese-level hype when Yuck was around?" is a question I just asked out loud.

Here is a drawing I did of the Simpson's house

Ice hockey is cool but wait until you see fire hockey at the summer olympics

How about an Olympics for movies, huh??? I don't see people giving out trophies for Best Movie????!

Pretty easy to blast your tunes from the safety of your little booths, DJs. Why don't you present your tastes to me on the ground like an adult???

Hello friends/enemies/neutrals,

I've been thinking a lot about what the world needs most right now and have decided to start a newsletter where I post "comedy" things I have made that I did not know what to do with. It is called Worm Farm and here is it:

welcometowormfarm.substack.com

Feeling hot but i'm not gonna trot about it.

Welcome to Bistro Boys the only podcast where we tell you if a restaurant is bistro with us on the pod today is a plate of spaghetti bolognese

my favorite thing about working from home is drinking a big ol' glass of water and being real sloppy with it.

This event is insane

It's not nice to tell someone you hate their guts but apparently it's also weird to tell someone you love their guts?? Staying guts-neutrals from here on out.