amazing how much you can over analyze a little league baseball lineup.

need to do one game where i just roll dice for lineup and positions.

my wine hot take of the day is that champagne should only come in large format bottles

don’t think being a baseball GM would be that hard if I had nearly half a billion to spend on payroll cough dodgers cough

terrible dad joke

given them enough money for them to ride Eights if they want 🤦🏼‍♂️

orthodontics is the chiropractic wing of dentistry

i will not be taking questions at this time

everybody has bills to pay

we all already hate this new pitch challenge thing in baseball, right?

big cursive throwin a lot of money around

brb moving to paris

damnit now I want those *and* some royal farms fried chicken

on my life, Fresca on H Street NE. underrated joint.

starting to think FIFA gave that prize to the wrong person

mostly recorded at Baltimore-adjacent locations!

every little league game

it’s almost Orioles season. but it’s always Joan Jett season.

mad libs for your Olympics half pipe tricks

number-color-kitchen object

“and they land the 740 purple blender!”

god I love the bad coffee you get at the best donut shops

gonna be more damn draftkings ad minutes than actual football

what do we gotta do to get a Meat Loaf biopic starring Jack Black. you can have all the money I’ve got if we can make this happen.

can watch Maryland drivers hit 80mph in town most days without these extra shenanigans

lol F1 Indy Car whatever the fuck it is on DC roads. ask me how many times I had to replace shock bushings and arms on my Volvos in DC compared to CA. roads in DC are a disaster.

when you’re making chicken soup this weekend, toss a little Old Bay in that pot. thank me later. also, fuck ice.

there weren’t any lines at the record store this morning. all the maniacs busy are buying milk and eggs. but I’ve got new to me vinyl.

even chatGPT threw up in its mouth a little after writing this drivel about the new commanders stadium plan in DC

remember that crazy time Obama wore a tan suit?

it’s funny when Aaron Rodgers loses because he’s a colossal asshole

to be clear, I’m very pro-lentil