How about this tortellini?

What's the difference between a musical conductor and a baby?

One sucks their fingers.

My Cleaning? Dry.

Tinned mushrooms, no, got to be fresh, toast is good with me though fried bread just as worthy. Are those hash browns? they can fuck right off!

Another one; years ago I played local rugby with a fella who got into a bar fight, when grabbed by the throat he pulled away and left his foe with his collar in his hand. Called him Vicar after that

Niece had a boyfriend, named Matt, who she treated as an accessory, so we called him Backpack. After breaking up with him her next boyfriend was also called Matt, though he was much taller and broad than the previous Matt, we called him Rucksack.

Get your kicks watching Bruce on the old Generation Game

I don't know, I was really drunk at the time.

Lose yourself in London!

Ooh! Can't get pasta that ass.

What's happening, Olaf, dang!