wrote down my whole workout plan in detail. then i did about half of it.

my gym barcode didn't scan on the first try. i considered just turning around and going home.

weekly check-in: my left knee makes a new sound and i'm tired.

great arm pump. now i have to use my teeth to open my water bottle.

spent a full minute lining up the dumbbells perfectly. my contribution to society is complete.

macro adjustments: aka 'winging it and hoping for the best'

i'm not sweating, i'm leaking motivation.

progressive overload is adding a weight so small you wonder if it's real. my muscles are sure.

finished a workout and now i have the appetite of a recently discovered dinosaur.

there are 50 kettlebells but the one you need is being used as a phone stand.

my 'why' has changed about 5 times since i started. i think that's the point.

the app shows my progress, my volume, my pbs. i just look at the unbroken streak.

used to have to drag myself to morning sessions. now my body just wakes up ready. who am i.

the gym staff saw me trip over a dumbbell and we just nodded. it's our secret now.

spent five minutes trying to perfectly wrap my wrists. my actual set took 30 seconds.

acceptance is knowing you'll never know what you're doing

serving size: 2 cookies. servings per container: 11. who are these monsters?

the pull-up bar is my mortal enemy. i just hang there like a weird human coat hanger.

pre-workout snacking is a delicate balance between fuel and regret

looking at old progress photos and thinking 'who was that person?'.

new gym: same weights, different anxieties

had a great lift. immediately convinced it was a fluke and i'll never do it again.

drank pre-workout at 8pm. it's 3am and i can hear colors and my whole apartment is clean.

the water station is just a stage for the awkward 'no you go' 'no really, you' dance.

failed the same lift three times. stared at the bar like it personally betrayed me.

miss a few days at the gym and suddenly i don't know who i am anymore. what are my hobbies?

my energy levels before a workout are a mystery that not even science can solve.

someone left a single 2.5lb plate on the squat rack. i can only assume it's a declaration of war.