My daily self-care routine has me exhausted.

I'm loving that "popesplaining" is now a word.

Did he use AI for that apostrophe in "new's"?

The vibes are definitely off.

I just read a typo in the word "caffeine" making it "coffeine," and now I'm thinking that, well, maybe that's how we should be spelling it.

Earlier today, I watched an Instagram Reel that was teaching me how to jump start a car's dead battery with a piece of rope, but only if I pushed my car off a cliff first, and I think I might have a lawsuit on my hands.

My 77-year-old dad, over dinner tonight: “I think I’m going to become an influencer, but I need to decide what kind.”

Me: “You should be a looksmaxxer.”

My dad: “No, I’ve already achieved that.”

It’s not. It is a fairly prestigious journal, though. I’d think they’d be better organized/prompt.

I just got a rejection for a short story I submitted to a journal four years ago.

I’m again being invited to random, anonymous local orgies on MeetUp.

The US is truly in free fall.

I’m living through a genocide-threatening president, a wider than ever wealth gap, and a criminally awful administration, and yet I’m also trying to manage a writers’ workshop for locals in an allegedly haunted 200-year-old house.

Honestly, bring on the ghost. Please. We need it now.

So it’s Taco Tuesday?

I mean, 1. phew, but 2. what a horrifically dangerous jackass we have in charge.

April is the coolest month.

I keep forgetting that NASA is sending people to the moon today.

Corporate newspeak has shortened "reschedule" to "resch," and it's driving me up various walls.

That’s exactly what it means.

I’m booksmaxxing this weekend.

I'd like to teleport to a Waffle House right now.

Is there anyone in FEMA who can help me with that?

A photo of what I can only describe as a blue blackjack table with eight baby-sized seats built into it in a half circle formation.

Why is Wayfair selling a blackjack table for babies?

I’ve just learned that Athens, Georgia, USA has a car wash that doubles as an antique shop.

If I were the McDonald's CEO, I would've shoved that whole thing in my mouth at once.

Sorry I didn't email you back sooner -- I was having play time.

The University of Georgia has long hosted a chapter of the Demosthenian Society—a prestigious debate club, as per its namesake—but I want to start a chapter of the Diogenesian Society, which is all about criticizing everyone, never bathing, defying societal norms, and living out of an old barrel.

“The greatest obstacle to living is expectancy, which hangs upon tomorrow and loses today.”

~Seneca the Younger, ‘On the Shortness of Life’

#SundaySentence

In America today, the plants crave electrolytes.

Bad news for the state of Georgia!

The season is such that we now have to address The Pollening.

Thinking of proposing an AWP panel for next year called, "Kids These Days: Am I Right?"

It'll just be five writers harping about looksmaxxing, aura, 6-7, things being mid, and so on. Let me know if you'd like to join!

Everyone should be worried because I'm working tirelessly to invent three-factor authentication.

The genius business model of Apple is that once or twice a month, they'll just email you a receipt for like $0.99 for something you didn't even know you were paying for.

I just heard someone use the word "brotesque," and now I'm going to start using it, too.