Meme: Alastair Sim as Scrooge looks out his window and says "You boy! Are the Straits of Hormuz open today?"

Totally uplifted by John Procter is the Villain at @royalcourt.bsky.social. A US class is studying The Crucible and gets overtaken by events which are alarmingly pertinent to the Arthur Miller play. Impeccably acted and a fantastic ending. A big hit in the US. Less so in UK. But a huge hit with me.

Without saying your age, post your favourite film that was released the year you turned 18.

A picture of a library shelf with a small rolled up note on it. The note says “read this” in child’s handwriting.

A picture of the note unrolled. In the same child’s handwriting it reads “beware of the future!!”

Still thinking about this note I found in the children’s section of the public library when I worked there back in 2018. This kid tried to warn us…

Orban lost. Paddington won. It’s been a good day. Goodnight.

Yes, I know I should be posting about Hungary, not the Oliviers, but I’m a theatre hag. Get over it.

Just a thank you to the BBC for broadcasting the Olivier Awards. Lovely show. Unusually, I didn’t churn with rage about any of the awards. Nick Mohammed was perfect. But special congratulations to Jack Holden, who deservedly swept past Hollywood stars and won for the tiny, brilliant Kenrex.

The reason Moby Dick is the most American novel ever written is because it is about a violent white man enacting a confusing revenge fantasy against a cheap source of oil.

Oh Mary! is 90 minutes of frenetic nonsense spun around the proclivities of Abraham Lincoln’s wife Mary. It is basically an excuse for a barnstorming star turn from Mason Alexander Park who is, I have to admit, very, very, very funny.

My friend Janet created this fantastic topper for the postbox outside our church. But it has been stolen. Would you like to send her an appreciative message? If you reply to me I’ll collect them and send them to her in a card.

The statue of Nelson’s column showing his face and hat which has on it ia 'chelengk'. Nelson was the first non-Muslim to be awarded one - as thanks for his victory in the Battle of the Nile. It was gifted to him by Sultan Selim III, who was literally the Caliph at the time. Nelson was so proud of it, as well as wearing it on his hat, he added it to his coat of arms. It is now the literal highest point of Nelson's column - a gift from the leader of the Muslim world to a devout Christian.

People who want to moan about Islamic prayer in Trafalgar Square may want to have a look up at the decoration on Nelson’s hat - the highest point of Trafalgar Square….

shop.nmrn.org.uk/product/nels...

Today is marked as Joseph Vrel’s birthday (although no one knows for sure about him - somewhere Dutch, sometime in the 17th century). What is certain is that he created the creepiest painting ever. WHAT ON EARTH is that outside the window?

Henri Bellechose painted The Martyrdom of St Denis 600 years ago this month. Although the scene is shocking and the artistry amazing, it begs the question of what was the appropriate menswear for a beheading. The bishop chose his mitre. The executioner chose his pants.

Yesterday night I dreamed I was in a library and an avalanche of books fell on me. Today 17 essays arrived from a Southwark Diocese course I teach for me to mark. Are prophetic dreams an actual thing? #Freud

For #piday we (re)present the Perks of Being A Choral Musician Pie Chart.

UpCloseOpera’s Gianni Schicchi is tremendous fun. Wittily updated, arranged for an onstage quartet, great singing. The only downside is a painfully unfunny spoken word ‘podcast’ prologue which is meant to help young people relate, but completely bewildered the Chichester pensioners. #opera

The William Nicholson exhibition at the Pallant Gallery is fascinating. The still lifes and woodcuts are marvellous. The portraits variable. He has painted Gertrude Jekyll with fuddled fingers, but her gardening boots are glorious. #art

My suggestion in the consultation on the appearance of banknotes was not taken up. I submitted Paddington, the Gruffalo and Winnie the Pooh. But it seems we’re going for wildlife instead.

The RSC’s The BFG, which is currently at Chichester, is gloriously theatrical. The puppets play superbly with scale, so that live actors can appear huge or tiny. The storytelling is fluid, the use of video is exhilarating, the magic zings. Children around me adored it. So did I. #theatre

Round of applause, please, for Phil, Ben and Lee from the London Fire Brigade who visited my mother today, fitted state-of-the-art smoke alarms, gave her sensible advice, and made her laugh.

Everyone knows that the WhatsOnStage Awards are all about popularity not excellence. So they don’t matter. But I have to say that when The Comedy About Spies won best play among nominations that included Stereophonic, I laughed out loud. #theatre

Notebook: Peter Graystone Global warning I HAVE bought a new car. At least, it’s new to me (I’ve never owned a brand new car). I took it for its first long drive. I wrapped up warm — it was that kind of weather. I had an engagement at the other end of the M23, on the south...

"The one addition to a car’s signage which I would genuinely appreciate is a light that simply says, 'Sorry!'"

In this week's Notebook, @petergraystone.bsky.social ✍️ on car safety, dashboard signs, taking one step at a time, and the challenging world we live in 📒

Notebook: Peter Graystone Peter Graystone on car safety, dashboard signs, taking one step at a time, and the challenging world we live in

It’s my turn to do the back page of the Church Times this week. I’ve written about why I hate driving, why I love my church, and how they are connected.
www.churchtimes.co.uk/articles/202...

It’s always my favourite commission: Tell us what you’ve been doing and make us laugh. Thanks for reading!

Trump is no Roosevelt.

Madness in great ones must not unwatched go.
Hamlet act 3 scene 1.

Shabana Mahmood vows to stick with hardline migration policies after byelection defeat Home secretary will defy ‘plain wrong’ calls from unions and leftwing MPs that she is alienating Muslim voters

www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2026... You would think that the message of Thursday’s by-election is, ‘This is not a good idea,’ wouldn’t you?

The Shitheads at @royalcourt.bsky.social is unbelievably brutal and violent. Cave people kill their way towards survival. Too unfocused to be a great play but a fiercely original debut with wonderful puppets. I’m eager to see what Jack Nicholls does next. It sure as hell won’t be a romcom. #theatre

Oh my life! Guess How Much I Love You at @royalcourt.bsky.social has absolutely shaken me. No question it’s the best new play of the year. And impeccably acted. Leavened with laughs and a glimmer of hope. But it’s desperately sad about a young couple and a terrible loss. People around me sobbed.

You have unwittingly celebrated Faustinus’ Day. He’s the patron saint of single people. In protest at your assimilation of my day I see no alternative but to open a bottle of expensive wine. Now look what you’ve done!