My bf and I were talking the other day and landed on the idea that the whole world is being run by a bunch of Billy Mitchells and I haven't been able to stop landing back there

QVC is the only appropriate tv after midnight. Less than 6 dozen of the jade green! And this guy just said this is the biggest meat loaf he's ever seen! "Look how deep this is!" he says

"You can have every ingredient and then, boom, put it together!" he's right! that's cooking, baby!

and the red sauce doesn't stain!

Pulling up the QVC live stream on youtube at midnight and going "yeah" and "yep" to the hosts as they barely have time to sell me another big red compost bin that KEEPS THE BAD SMELLS IN right before selling me meatballs

AHHHHH

My favorite thing is when it feels like 10pm and I look at my clock and it's 6:30pm instead

I had to wave sheepishly at cars 3 times walking home from work today, which is 3 times too many for me

I won a big award at work (yay!!!) and the plastic statuette they gave us has a little butt

can’t stand the mona lisa. I hate it when women smile. What’s so funny? My tiny penis?

I hate when my boss has to decide if my annoying girlfriend is in love with me in 10 days

I'm watching how to lose a guy in 10 days and as much as I adore true detective s1, maybe we should have kept Matthew McConaughey in the romcom category. I think being Rust Cohle made him believe he was smart

It's a coming of age road trip movie with wacky hijinks along the way

I don't get why people hate sleeping with socks on so much. I can do with or without no problem. I'm very chill about the whole thing

I've decided to take up cross stitch. It's my new thing

Tumblr post with screenshot of notes from fanfic: "Please stop leaving comments that relitigate your real-world parasocial love or equally parasocial hate for Taylor Swift. This is not the forum for that, this is an erotic mind control story about Taylor Swift enthusiastically falling under the corrupting influence of a mysterious amulet, the origin of which is not explored though is likely sorcery-based." then the post was reblogged by an account called "counting horses" that stated the original post contains 33 horses. That was then reblogged by OP who added "This comment sent me into the psychological torment dimension fyi"

tumblr still good

A two panel comic. In the first panel, Wallace, grinning, asks, "Gromit can you do everything for me???" In the second panel, Gromit wears a look of concern, and is surrounded by hearts.

Please, Gromit.

She loves this dumb kylie crochet bag with an upside-down label bc it's sooo scratchy

"Interesting crumb" — the intelligent ant

Black cat named Kaiji lying on a pillow above my head, resting his head on mine

Kaiji sleeps on my pillow nearly every night and rests his sweet lil head upon mine and it makes me want to weep bc of how much I love him

SOCRATES: No god is a philosopher or seeker after wisdom, for he is wise already; nor does any man who is wise seek after wisdom.

PLATO: Neither do the ignorant seek after wisdom.

DARRYL, SOCRATES AND PLATO’S FRIEND: well well well if it isn’t the blowjob brothers

Garrett just sent me this pic of the boys from 4 years ago 🥹😭

Kaiji's turn

big tabby cat curled up on my lap

Charlie curled up on my lap while I play bg3 and drink my tea. Lovely little morning

Sorry I was weird before, and also am now, and will be in the future

A bunny is surrounded by stars. Text reads: "I'm right here girl!!!"

Your special little guy.

I adore this special little guy

Baldurs Gate 3 is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream

A movie marquis with all those movie titles on it in that order.

/extremely Southern accent
"Frankenstein Bugonia, if I had legs I'd kick you!"