need to vent about an evil man in brooklyn comedy but I’m too stupid to word it vaguely enough so i will continue to be the physical embodiment of that time i thought i cut my thumb off on the hay tedder hitch but my body and brain wouldn’t let me look down to know

heard they changed the spotify wrapped data collection timeframe this year and i need to know when it ends so i can spend my time until december 31st listening to the podcasts of every guy I’ve ever dated to see if they talked about me

of course the subway is awesome when underground. what a feat. but when she goes above.....

i only date bald guys i have male pattern

swiping……….. why do i have to know you “want kids someday” but grindr gets to know your penis length in centimeters