I'm not joking when I say mRNA technology is more important than "AI" and it's a tragedy we're throwing billions into one while our government is aggressively defunding the other.

10 more days in Australia left.

A few tickets left for Sunday in Melbourne.

Next week off to Brisbane.

Then home to my baby girl.

I hated everything about trying for a baby.

I'll know I've truly made it when my tour manager has to go into any rental apartment before me and replace the clear plastic knife block with my travelling knives before I enter the place.

One time they'll forget the knives and I won't play the show and it'll be so quirky and rock n roll

I'm going to admit something that I can't tell the real world.

I haven't been home for 2 months due to tour and yeah sure I miss my kid and husband and dogs and friends etc

But more than anything I miss my own kitchen knives and I'm actively fantasising about slicing cleanly through a tomato

Easy to write once you know the formula

What kind of dog would be mean about your favourite spread sheet?

An XL Bully

www.lauralexx.co.uk/live

I love stand up comedy 🤷‍♀️ The career path is weird in this industry so please see me in my best format: at my nearest live show to you. All live shows available via my website! Book early to avoid me cancelling them due to low ticket sales.

Sushi pieces are getting too big. Halve them for the love of god and just let us buy more of them

Just had the comedy dream. Messing about in the green room said a load of stuff and the other comic went “that’s funny - do that on stage” and I did and it worked and god if it could all be like that with never any writing

Write a twenty minute set about the trip and just perform it at them unblinking until they realise I have one mode of communication? 😂

Yeah ok, I’m going to plan a few things that are easy and interesting that I can segue out of back to normal chat. Thank you for your help - very much appreciated.

Yeah maybe I go that one… just turn up in gold and green to everything and start slagging off everything in the UK compared to Aus 😂😂 then everyone will leave me alone

should just have a generic "yeah it was great" and 1 or 2 anecdotes prepped?

Cannot believe this is what's stressing me out but really is

Do you think it's ok to say to friends and family "please don't ask "how was Australia?" It was fine but I'll just pepper it into chat when it comes up?" to relieve my stress about talking about it or is that really weird behaviour

Can I get some advice? In a couple of weeks I'll be returning from a 2.5 month trip to Australia. It's all been absolutely fine BUT I'm starting to dread people asking "How was Australia?" when I get back because bleugh where do you start and fuck I don't know it was loads of things.

The whole concept of a virginity is redundant. I think in the past your dad could swap it to become king. But now dad’s a marketing manager and HR said no. So it’s redundant but we still have it. It’s Like the appendix. In that all the cool kids at school pretended they’d had theirs removed

It’s not box wine, it’s cardboardeaux.

Alright. It’s a deal. And due to your specific scenario: yes, YouTube probably in July

I'm not sure it's the best sales technique to confirm there's a way to not buy tickets to the live show I'm trying to flog

The bare bones of the joke is taking the most idle moment on the internet and taking it to a higher power. So: shoes to Kremlin.

You can really see here the beginnings of what you can imagine being a written up bit… what does our data tell them? Why is it useful?

I swear someone almost laughs the word “yeah” after the “can’t be assed to click cookies” line… I think there’s a bit in there about the times where you’re really diligent about “NO YOU CAN’T HAVE MY DATA” and sometimes you’re basically selling a kidney to get to clickbait.

I like the way the crowd giggle when he says data… it’s a nice little indicator that they trust me to find something fun in this.

Same again when I ask him what he does but this time, I liked this bit for showing the link between crowd work and observational comedy.

2. It stops crowd work being too insular. Sometimes once a comedian gets stuck into one person they forget about the rest of the audience.
I think it’s vital to remember the audience member is the paint and then you spread it out on the canvas - you don’t just stir the colour in the pot.

Hopefully that comes across from the “you’re fantastic” and the “military history” question - I’m not actually basing this on him. It’s all conjecture that I could almost stick on anyone.

1. This isn’t about being mean or staring someone down and tearing them apart. This is about light fluffy characterisation based on nothing… not an actual character assassination.

We start out with a picture paint in this one… subtle stupid posh character voice and a description to build the image for the audience.

Notice I do this as I’m walking away from the guy. Two reasons for that: