Since I can't priv
I just delete the app

Maybe I'll be back in some months if I get any better LOL

Not likely I get any actual help and I just need to wait, wait, wait and hold out another damned day
I'm 33
Its fucking over man
Wasted so much time

It's weird... Hard to explain
Like when u wake up in the middle of sleeping quick bathroom trip u barely awake and fall asleep immediately after
Maybe similar to that except it doesn't go away for 8+ hours and I can't sleep anymore either
Today was extremely hard to force keep my eyes open n focus

There's another hospital to be called..

Days are tough, I feel weak
Sometimes when I try to pull myself up I just feel so much worse in a way I cant really explain and I get anxious as well
Taking the oxazepam kinda often now
Most of the day I struggle to exist

Called doc again, more details, more on the papers
Both hospitals request sent...
We'll see

Probably won't know until next week since tomorrow's friday 🥲 weekend again

Also thank you
I keep hoping for smth positive...
Am just a little worried why I'm not feeling any better yet even though it's not been a week after yet? I think
But still, it's different atm
I have no idea how much my iron dropped though

Pretty much everyone we talk to are sympathetic and feel like more needs to be done but for some reason the people that actually determine this shit say no and we don't even get to speak to them :/

Honestly no clue how that works over here or anything
Idk if there's any difference...
But speaking too much on it would prob give away too much location .n.

Idk

But we keeping contact w my doc and we should get a callback from hospital
There's also possibly legal action..

If I was brave
I'd just get out of bed and attempt to collapse or smth so I could be dragged to ER or whatever
Maybe i couldve gotten help easier

I dont really want to wait until smth worse happens
I cant handle this, anxiety also became an issue again

I alr complain a lot a lot

Mostly on twt alt
I just can't really handle it all anymore.

I'm sorry.

I wish I could just draw...

Everytime I can climb up this shit happens...

I literally just got my own home(rent) finally for the second time I thought yay i can live my life now and work on myself and boom covid started, my neck issues wouldn't stop and it all only got worse and worse

Ok need to stop

I really wish I didn't fuck up as bad

Finally found smth that really motivated me to draw, even write, be happy, try to interact online actually

And then I just got thrown into the depths of hell I guess
While everything's alr been so difficult for so long

I got denied for 2 hospitals, 3 times total kinda but 2 officially I guess

Also got denied for an alternative bc I think age? So that wasn't really an option

There's smth else but is more revalidation and uh I think appointment was in May LMAO

So ya good life

Too much details already, probably

Either way

Got denied again 🎉🎉🎉
10 months stuck in bed and counting and I kinda wanna dieeeee
Ive had it.

That week and the week before were tough..

Unfortunately so far it hasn't gotten better and I got smth kinda weird going on now
It's really hard to explain
But I don't feel good at all

All i have is oxazepam and naproxen , I feel like the pam helps a little bit but its also difficult for me

But I noticed too late... Way too late even though the signs were already there
I feel stupid

Either way I switched back to bisglycinate with juice now bc I am in no state to swallow pills that big since I can't sit properly and often too tensed
Started before period

Thankfully capsules u can empty in water or applesauce
It got better and i even managed to swallow them
Downside I need to take 6 at least 120mg
I think I should be able to take up to 250 but idk what my body can handle

Then switched to small pills of 105mg to try and then everything went downhill

Atp idk if its just ferritin for me anymore bc it's so bad but I was also unlucky

First I took ferrous fumerate 65mg , way too little!! My stomach got too upset and started feeling worse again

Switched to bisglycinate but theres no higher dose , need to pay it and no drink

Every other day theres another story on the timeline of a woman nearly dying bc just take paracetamol bs

Either way

Ferritin shouldn't be taken lightly, menstruating ur iron is tanking constantly. U need it above 100 to have a good quality of life.

I have pretty severe sympts

Just been doing worse and worse tbh

Second hospital also denied me.
They also say no infusion needed w ferritin of 26 (which was before the mistake of switching pills)...

We reallly need up to date knowledge. We really need more care for women its actually insane (pisses me off the stories I see)

Sorry for whining

Idk when it will be over

I'm absolutely useless.

Called doc again... Idk
Might get a call back today but I doubt anything can be done + if it can it will just be stress and panick
I'm terrified of having to get out of bed and experience sm movement while I am already having issues

Tomorrow I successfully wasted another year of my life too

Haven't been able to get bloodwork done but same symptoms, same shit

I can't do anything, extremely on edge tho it got slightly less (alr switched back to the iron I had before last month) I'm exhausted and weak, pain s back, I'm tired, really fucking tired.

Struggling to check here especially since I been doing worse again...idk I took my iron pills properly , never forgot but here we are again I guess.

So yeah
It's kind of pointless for me to still have accounts anywhere.

Ahw we'll see...

Unless it's like that one coralie event thing, I don't remember but I could not for the life of me

Also story wise... I'm not even sure if I can manage to handle allthat 😭 so I might have to play it when I feel better too damn
Getting emotional s a struggle

Idk about better, it's about different characters too so
It was good to see durarita getting focus so I wanted to play through it but now it's backlog 😮‍💨

And ya jp is never voiced. I have no doubts about cn being good, I just can't listen to it(yet, someday...it's stupid I'm aware.)

Merch snippet, just what I could fit to take a pic of 😭 a while ago already
I think I only shared it to twt alt at the time

I miss my meerrchhh
But theres lots to do when I finally can whenever that is

In the end I still didn't manage to complete durarita event nor mei web event 🥲 sigh

Theres no crystals for Mei let alone Ely outfit 😭

Been skipping out on endfield after finally getting Yvonne after the full 120 or however many it was 😭 tried to gather some inikki pulls bc yeah my ass really wants that unicorn...

But it's been tough doing much at all
Honki I try but only managed a few times

Been so useless again lately 💀
Hopefully a little better soon...

It's been mostly me playing mc w my Senti skin, one egg every morning 🫠

And having thoughts I can't draw and even drawing stickfigure on phone is ... How do ppl do that thing xD