Spoken, Not Stirred The Real Mr Bradley · Album · 2024 · 8 songs

Listen up open.spotify.com/album/0aYAYx...

"Midlife crisis?
Nah, petsitting in Scotland.
'Through The Catflap' dives into the hilariously odd lives of petsitting and the weirder pet owners.
'Trainspotting' meets 'All Creatures,'. Irritable hamsters & judgemental cats. Wry humour, oddballs, and 'one last thing..." #scotwriterpitch2025

australian labradoodle

Jock the Labradoodle looks like a man in a ‘dog suit’.
Chasing live locusts around the kitchen floor. The Bearded Dragon 🦎is above. He gives me that look from his glass palace:
‘Fool: get my lunch’.
How am I ever going to find the time to write the definitive Scottish novel? #scotwriterpitch2025

boat in Dart river harbour

‘You’re my favourite old person, Uncle Neil’.

Bridie hugs my neck. Won’t let go and it’s uncomfortable.
‘I don’t care for old people usually. They’re mean to me.’
We watch the dive team searching in the wrong place.
Our wee secret.

Me and the Black Isles’ answer to Dexter. #scotwriterpitch2025

collie on beach

Pip, the rescue Collie dances with her shadow. It’s an odd evening ritual. A canine ballet for one.
Seeks out the light and the dark. Her stage.
Street Lights. Action. Showtime.

Broad sands by day looping around children. Unknown past life stories.

Me and My Shadow, by Pip.

#scotwriterpitch2025

‘I’m ordering a life jacket’ says Gayle, kicking sand.
Crowd gathers. I feel their judgement.
Bonnie the wilful dog is just a blob on the blue horizon.
Out of her depth.

Like me.

‘Amazon: Be here tomorrow’.

Life jacket?

‘For the f*cking dog’.

‘Might be a bit late, babe’. #scotwriterpitch2025