!!!!!!! It looks amazing! ❤️❤️❤️

The Pom Brat is upset with my aggressive cuddling and nonstop kisses but he is only being subjected to what I deal with every morning from him. At least I didn’t stick my butt in his face or lay on his chest to get comfy.

I have woken up before the dogs for the first time in forever and am now taking this opportunity to get revenge on them for every morning I have been woken up at 5 am with a tongue in my ear or nose or warm breath on my neck or, most terrifyingly, a sense that someone is watching me and I see 👀

I hope people stick styrofoam half globes to it to complete the look.

Autumn girlies are thriving.

Not only did I finish my first checkbook, I also ordered a new one! Thankfully, the customer service person I talked to got me an order of 80 checks (which will take me almost a decade to use up) so I’m all set to continue my ✨Adult Journey✨

What.

By my lawyer math, it is going to take me over 110 years to get through them all…..

Caveat: I’ve probably had to rip up three to four checks for stupid mistakes like spelling things wrong, and another four or five for direct deposit paperwork. But all in all, the fact that I have to order a new checkbook is a sign that I’m growing up into an adult, right?

Today is a momentous day. As a millenial, I am celebrating with Starbucks and some avocado toast for brunch. I never thought this day would come. Some said it never would.

People of the Internet, I have used the last check in my first checkbook. I have used 150 checks since 2006. #pleaseclap

In any case, I have considered upgrading my queen bed to a Wyoming or Alaska king so that I can at least move to another side of the bed without a fluffy butt in my face.

But they are so damn cute.

Small fluffy beige Pomeranian on its back with eyes closed, sleeping on a white and dark blue striped blanket

You’d think they would learn that the fans I bought specifically to get more air flow near their tempurpedic dog beds would convince them to leave me alone. False.

They live by the philosophy “what’s yours should be in my tummy and what’s mine is going to be in my tummy.”

Wait…

I live for the day when I don’t get woken up at 5 am because the dogs have decided that their beds aren’t comfy enough, so they hop on mine but need to be touching me and refuse to leave even though it’s Hellfire degrees out and infinity percent humidity.

There’s nothing like a good loud thunderstorm to make the dogs suddenly REALLY cuddly.

My love for experienced phlebotomists knows no bounds. Truly.

Arrived for a 7:30 am blood draw at 7:28. Signed in and sat down at 7:29. Called back at 7:30. Out the door at 7:31.

I’m now an hour too early for work. So I’m going to a diner. Thank you, phlebotomists.

WELCOME BACK - General Body meeting @ Place Time (Free Food!)

I’m trying to convince myself that even though my job doesn’t pay a lot, it’s still a solid salary for a single person in my area and that I don’t need to jump into private practice because I hate billing.

Also, please be on the lookout for my change.org petition to bring back the clown horn #honkhonk

I would like to put my vote on the record for The Cutting Room Floor on Patreon, which is just uncut episodes. And/or real-time reactions to finding episode ideas. Cause that shit would make my week.

I love the U.S. Open. It reminds me that the fall is almost here and school is about to start. I have distinct memories of watching Andy Roddick’s crazy serve before doing some of my summer homework. The fact that it’s opening night gives me so much joy.

Update on the job situation: decided to turn down the offer to interview because of the need to relocate and have to take the bar again (fuck that). Other dream job isn’t looking so promising but maybe I’m just jaded.

Ask if you can help with stranger exposure. If food motivated (and not resource guardy) then ask what they like and offer to buy a bag. I’m starting to volunteer at a shelter with mostly pitties and while they’re adorable, they’re STRONG AF and I’m not quite built for it. But I love them from afar.

I was gonna say “on the first day of summer, my ‘best friend’ gave to me….”

The fact that I’m only finding this now is a CRIME.

I’m ashamed to admit it. Yes, I did tune into F0x to watch the G0P debate. And yes, I expected to be rolling my eyes and annoyed.

What I WASN’T expecting was how QUICK I turned it off as soon as a certain FL gov started talking and another former fly-attractor was smirking next to him.

Also, I have made back about 70% of the money I have spent on plants with a little time and effort. I don’t want to hear about how expensive plants are. Soon, I’ll be at net zero. And then I can fully enjoy this ridiculous hobby.

Today, while having lunch, I was putting white fittonia cuttings into cups and just leaving them on people’s desks. Someone asked if they could have another one to bring home. I gave her seven more cuttings.

The marshals call me the Plant Lady. I am okay with this.

I realized I had a minor plant problem when it took me four hours to water and care for everything this weekend. So I’ve been making cuttings and bringing them to work or transplanting them into easier mediums to manage or just selling the ones that I don’t enjoy anymore. This is my second job.

“Plane crash”

How do I bold and underline quotation marks…

Many questions were had. None seem to have been answered.

I miss my List from the xyz site.