spongebob reads paper that says "you need to conform to be happy" and then burns the paper

I miss you, too! Life is chaos. Clowning is vital.

The way you say "representative" to an automated system is the real you.

Hi ho. Hi ho. It's back to this dystopia we go

Emotional stability doesn’t mean suppressing your feelings. It means navigating them skillfully, with tools, self-compassion and understanding the needs they’re trying to reveal

The way I will spend hours stressing and crying about my job, only to find out everything is fine. 🙄

Remember,

If Jesus "cares about the souls of unborn babies" he'd be 1000% pro-abortion.

It's the only way to get the souls of the unborn into heaven before they sin and risk spending an eternity in hell.

Damn it! We'll get there.

😅 Seriously.

Idk who else needs to hear this today, but remember to write 2025 on that paperwork you're filling out

This is so spot-on it’s scary.

me: omg goth diamonds

santa: that’s charcoal

two raccoons near a Christmas tree outside at night, one is standing on his hind legs, the other towards the middle of the image is on all fours, weather appears to be cool

the same two raccoons from the previous photo near a Christmas tree outside at night, they appear to be getting closer to the camera, weather appears to be cool

Merry Chrysler to those whomst celebrate 🦝🎄

We're almost a quarter of a century into the 2000s, but 1990 was ten years ago. So that's confusing.

My one regret is I can only repost this once.

Give her what she really wants this holiday season. Death to the patriarchy, bodily autonomy, and real pockets in every dress and pair of pants.

6 just referred to a cybertruck as a saber-tooth 😂

Sorry I put aviator sunglasses on the baby Jesus in your nativity scene and started singing “Highway to the manger zone.”

David Attenborough:

When I was an RA in college, we had this buddy system thing we did for support and encouragement. I brought it to a WA state board of directors recently, and it's so dear to see a group of adults light up over a concept that gave me such good gifts when I was younger. ❤️ People always need people.

Thinking of staging my own live-action version of Dragon Tales.

I think awkward is a constant, but my awareness of the awkward is sometimes louder than others. 😅

You know that feeling when you're fully aware that you're doing some weird autistic shit and you try not to be awkward about it, which makes it way more awkward?

7?! Our kiddos are growing up! Tell her I want a cotton candy shooter.

Smile 2 really had the potential to become my new favorite horror film, but then they took it one step too far. Sigh. Still some of my new favorite imagery, though. And I don't often respond to jump scares, but they got me TWICE!

Let's gooooo! I'm so glad you still remember this because I think about it way too often. 😅 I think we can add things.

But whyyyyyyy?!

Somebody brought germs to Thanksgiving 😑

There are few things I love as much as sleeping next to my girl, but there are times I'm grateful that we live separately. The night after I've slammed 6ish deviled eggs is one of them. 😵‍💫