They can arrest me but I doubt they’ll catch me on my pigeon-led sleigh

NOTHING worse than eating a pastry in public when there are no pigeons near to enjoy the flurry of dusted off-flakes. Truly, what is the actual point? I feel like I’m throwing money off of a balcony when everyone below has already gone to bed. Pointless. Flakes in the wind.

I remember this episode of Red Dwarf.

The flying poutine monster

Angine de Poutine:

Worry not, the beast has been caged (in my digestive tract) 😌

A photo of takeaway chips, cheese and gravy with two opened Babybels on top. The way the Babybels are placed on top and splashed with gravy is making them look like eyes, making the whole meal look like a little monster looking up at you. Next to the food is a pot of burger sauce but that’s less relevant.

The same picture as before but a zoomed-in blurry version of the chips cheese and gravy topped with Babybel eyes, making it look like found footage of a cryptid

Got chips, cheese and gravy and I had two Babybels that needed using so I just popped them on top and now I’m afraid I’ve created a monster.

What Just Happened? - Series 4 - Leila Navabi, Ignacio Lopez, Mel Owen and Kiri Pritchard-McLean - BBC Sounds Comedy panel show hosted by Robin Morgan.

We're back for a new series in the run in to the Senedd election in May. And if Welsh politics is something you do not give the first shit about, there are also jokes about other things like a man building a boat from Jaws. It's a big silly show with a great panel every week, have a listen here:

Nope, only ever done a week of 20 spots with Best in Class!

Uh oh, the word on the street is that I will be doing my debut show ‘How to Juggle a Ferret’ at the Edinburgh Fringe this August. 14:55 @ CabVol 2, Monkey Barrel Comedy.

Details and tickets in bio.

A picture of a patterned, carpetty bus seat on top of which sits a chocolate bar with the name ‘Dare’. Underneath the name it says ‘milk chocolate coated wafer’, which is less relevant but I thought you might like to know.

Someone left this chocolate bar on the bus. I fear that the universe is testing me again.

When are they going to make a new sandwich that fixes everything

Beavers are turning rivers into powerful carbon sinks Beavers may be unlikely climate heroes, but new research suggests they could play a powerful role in fighting climate change. By building dams and transforming streams into wetlands, these industrious...

Beavers bring SO many benefits: especially to aquatic ecosystems, but also the climate, flood reduction, rural economies, etc., etc...

And they *coevolved* with Irish ecosystems, so would fit in perfectly. We need to be having a national conversation about this.
www.sciencedaily.com/releases/202...

Have you considered becoming a Free Blood Pressure Cat and distributing any excess blood pressures you may have?

A cat curled up on a little cat bed placed upon a chair in a waiting room. The chair is next to a sign, which is partially blocked by the cat bed, and the sign reads “OVER 40?.... NOT on any blood pressure medication?.. Then get a FREE blood pressure”

You have crossed paths with the free blood pressure cat. After seeing the cat, you will receive ONE (1) free blood pressure.

Deal is limited to one free blood pressure per person, not exchangeable for cash nor other blood-related goods.

Photo of a cinema room filled rows of lovely red seats, all/ most with people sat in them. On the screen is a shot from the film ‘Amélie’ (where Amélie is sat looking quietly excited in the cinema). There’s text on the cinema screen too, but it’s mostly blurry other than the words ‘Escapes’ (the company putting on the screening) and ‘now playing Amélie’. At the bottom half of the photo, I’m holding a cardboard food box, containing a chocolate croissant. Accidentally on theme with the food as I couldn’t find the cinema food bit in HOME MCR so just grabbed pastries from the cafe in a frantic dash. There were a LOT of croissant flakes in my hair when the lights came up. Snacks for the way home.

Got to see Amélie in the cinema today and I feel like the lava lamp hiding inside of me has been switched back on again. 🙂‍↕️

I forget I have ADHD until moments like just now where I stepped onto a bus and the driver was playing ‘This Love’ by Maroon 5 full pelt on his phone. Threw me so much that I just stood there blank-headed, looking at the poor bus man like a 90s Furby ready to instil fear into an unsuspecting child

A photo of a purple shoulder bag with Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh printed on it. It also has a little stuffed toy Eeyore keyring attached to it. It’s a gorgeous bag which I spent many a time looking at in the 2000s Argos catalogues.

For World Book Day this year, I will be dressing up as one of my favourite characters from the 2000s Argos catalogues - Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh shoulder bag collection.

📢NEW SERIES📢

Live From The UK is BACK ON @bbcradio4 tonight at 18:30 and after broadcast on BBC Sounds

I am so proud to host this show bringing you some of the best grass roots comedy from all over the UK for the next 6 weeks. This series comes from Edinburgh, Liverpool, Belfast and Brighton 🎉🎉🎉

Image of the radio details on top of a photo of the seaside, somewhere between Llanelli and Swansea I believe. As part of the radio details, there’s an image of Angela Barnes and text that reads ‘Live From The UK. Stand-Up Specials’. Below this reads: “Zoe Lyons, Stuart McPherson, Anna Thomas and Neil Delamere. Live from the UK Angela Barnes travels the UK to bring you the best standup acts from Brighton, Edinburgh, Swansea and Belfast. 25 February 2026 28 minutes On radio: RADIO 4 Today 18:30 BBC RADIO 4”

Hello slugs and bugs. 🙂‍↕️ I'm very blooming excited to say that you can hear me doing stand-up as part of 'Live From The UK' on BBC Radio 4 tonight at 18:30 (or on BBC Sounds laters ons). I had such a gorgeous time recording from one of my old stomping grounds, Swansea ♥️

Tonight in Manchester 🙂‍↕️

I’m just a big fan of the ‘Fidel Castro and dairy’ Wikipedia page - that man was so interested in upgrading the human/ cow experience

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fidel_C...

Fidel Castro would’ve loved this post.

Me versus Cupid and any blooming cherubs this Valentine’s Day: