Unbeatable at hackey sack. Stinky poncho. His lighter never works.

Best time ever?

Stanford: *doing University shit like teaching & learning*
Russia: Hey, I think you’re undesirable

The poop in my pants would’ve also pooped itself

I love ventriloquist acts bc I love the OMGITHINKIMSHITTINGMYSELFOHFUCKOHFUCKITSHAPPENING face they make when it’s supposed to be the puppet speaking.

Sometimes it feels good to let your dog boss you around.

The alt-text box isn’t working so for anyone wondering what that pic is it’s two of my blood donor cards—one, haggard, showing 25 donations and the other, crisp, new, showing 50.

Read em & weep motherfuckers: turns out I’m an amazing-ass fucking person!

Animals: *trying to communicate w/ humans, making adorable noises*
Humans: Awww🥺
Some goats: *sounding a LOT like humans*
Humans: lol, listen to these dipshits

“Alright: now it’s my turn!” *shuts eyes, runs toward opponent w/ no plan

This my first time having a dog. So all this still feels very new.

It’s annoying when my dog keeps asking for treats. But then there’s times when I make a face like ‘come on, you just had one’ and she screams back: “I know! I am sick! I have sickness in me!” And that’s always way worse imo.

Better have Mankind in it

I’d love if my country never gave this country another weapon for a good long while.

Hurricane Blurricane

"Cleared" after one year.

A year is a long time in boxing. And these are her prime years because age/time is undefeated and undisputed.

They have done her harm.

What a thrill to hanker for things.

I wish I could digest spruce. Josie rules.

rn isn’t perfect but it’s all we got for rn

GAZE and LONG at home, please

Once again it’s springtime and once again my fav park is ruined. Just FILLED TO THE BRIM w/ lovers.

A man just walked into the Lunch Room im in rn saying into a cell phone “YEAH—SO WHATS THE PRICE-POINT ON THAT”
Disgusting! Never, ever do business talk in public. It’s repulsive. Thank you for your attention on this Matter,
-Derek Kirk Nason

Thanks! The person who first explained that to me was the late Professor John Doheny of the UBC Department of English, around 1975 or so.

BREAKING: A federal judge ruled that the Trump administration's restrictions on journalists at the Pentagon are unconstitutional.

The government doesn't get to decide what news the public has access to.

the president and his pals are accidentally leaning on the levers of power like so many misters bean

I certainly won't claim that all human scientific endeavors have always been good and noble and without any suffering to humankind. But I will say that the scientific impulse--the curiosity that drives us to work together to understand our universe--is one of my very favorite things about humanity.

I like to have a house every half mile or so in case I get tired walking somewhere

Get pissin space folk

I couldn’t sleep last night because my tummy was too full bc I wanted to take a break from controlling impulses so yeah, I agree

“I have chosen the life of porn, now I must follow it”