This is so well done. 👌

“You are an abolitionist, ain’t you?” “As to that, I cannot so readily answer. If by abolitionist you mean a zealot, I am none; but if you mean a man, who, being a man, feels for all men, slaves included, and by any lawful act, opposed to nobody’s interest, and therefore, rousing nobody’s enmity, would willingly abolish suffering (supposing it, in its degree, to exist) from among mankind, irrespective of color, then am I what you say.” “Picked and prudent sentiments. You are the moderate man, the invaluable understrapper of the wicked man. You, the moderate man, may be used for wrong, but are useless for right.”

Herman Melville on moderates, all the way back in 1857:

“This should be fine as long as the diseases agree to ramp down, too.” Claire Easterlund, Complaint Drafter

CDC Scales Back Child Vaccine Schedule theonion.com/cdc-scales-back-child-va...

What in the Gestapo is going on in Grand Rapids?

Watch this activist get arrested *mid-interview* for speaking out against U.S. action in Venezuela.

Got em

A conference slide reading “No, that’s kleptomania /j”

“One of the misconceptions about autistic people is we take things literally” #KiwiPyCon

Just a reminder, “Epstein” is the name of the sex trafficker.

The president is called “Epstein’s monster.”

ICE has been raiding my neighborhood and surrounding ones for the last couple of weeks now. They commandeered my local church (against the pastor's will) for a staging site and raided supermarkets, parks, Goodwills, bus stops, you name it.

The national media's been silent. So has @mayor.lacity.gov.

“Maybe the $2,000 dividend was the friends we made along the way?”

I knew it would take less than a day for a tiktok dj to make something.

South Side. S14th Street. Caller said a guy is outside on the sidewalk shredding guitar way too hard for a Monday afternoon.

We have to win the midterms, full-stop. Yes on Prop 50.

“We’re here peacefully protesting, looking as ridiculous as we can, just so maybe we appeal to the president because he’s a ridiculous leader that is normalizing abuse of power. And we cannot stand and act like nothing is happening.” 🦄

It's only autism if it comes from the Tylenol region of France otherwise it's just sparkling persuadoscience

Did you know your MacBook has a sensor that knows the exact angle of the screen hinge?

It’s not exposed as a public API, but I figured out a way to read it and make it sound like an old wooden door.

Could programmers from the 80's understand today's code?

Could todays programmers understand code from the 80's?

My brother, I don't understand my own code from last week. Every line I write is a bespoke bit of spontaneous genius that even I am incapable of deciphering mere days after writing it.

I’ll be real with you: not even a Cybertruck owner deserves this

Breaking News 1m ago A close adviser to Mayor Eric Adams was suspended from his campaign after trying to give a journalist cash inside a potato chip bag.

They say phones only make us miserable but I just got this news alert and laughed for a solid minute so who is to say

This is incredibly beautiful storytelling.

[Johnson's formulating adult shampoo]

no. let them cry.

Book buying is a hobby entirely unrelated to book reading

No truer words #booksky

So do we get why I was banned from speaking about Pinochet at the Naval Academy now?

This guy consistently posts songs with incredible lyrics mere hours after events unfurl. This was a good one.

We have an official ruling

- I want things to be different - *smashes everything* - oh no

I think about this comic at least once a week

"Masked security forces captured an opposition leader in the coastal province of New Jersey as regime officials continue their months-long crack-down against pro-democracy elements in the embattled United States. The arrest comes as the regime issued calls for summary detentions without trial."

the new york sewer rats have finally elected a new rat pope

Two commemorative magazines, one for Hello Kitty, the other for Pope Francis

Sucks they never got to collab

FBI Claims Gavel, Black Gowns Prove Ties To MS-13 Gang WASHINGTON—Explaining that such items constituted a veritable uniform for the notorious criminal organization, FBI director Kash Patel claimed Monday that gavels and black gowns were sufficient evidence to tie an individual to the MS-13 gang. “For decades, MS-13 thugs have identified themselves by wearing black gowns and carrying around wooden hammers with which they could […]

“For decades, MS-13 thugs have identified themselves by wearing black gowns and carrying around wooden hammers with which they could enact their sick sense of gangland justice,” said FBI director Kash Patel
theonion.com/fbi-cla...